by Steven Arness | Jan 16, 2003 | Thoughts
For all the regulars out there that know me, I am active in all this, with an even more in your face style of my choices.
I’ve had people argue about it both ways with me, one group saying that I’m looking for trouble and hurt with what I’m doing. And the other more interesting group saying, “Your still a guy, so what?” Of course I’m also stuck between the crossdressers who are inflamed that I dress like a women, but refuse to look or act like one. Saying that I am doing a disservice to all genetic and TV, TG, TS, and CD’s out there with my appearance. And on the other end I have to deal with the straights who want no part in dealing with a guy wearing a dress, who is most obviously a guy, no if’s and’s or but’s about it.
Now saying all that, I will say that I have run across some folks who don’t seem to care one bit in what I’m wearing, and talk to me just like any other human being.
So many CD’s wanted me to put on a wig and makeup and at least try to pass as a girl so as not to be subject to ridicule and harassment, but I cannot, such a thing is a masquerade for me. It’s a lie, and not the truth for who I am. Meanwhile these same people who go the whole femme route, (some who do very well IMHO) are petrified at stepping outside there own door. The very same people who tell me to masquerade so that I will draw less attention to myself doing what I do.
This to me makes little or no sense, I will admit 110%, that I was petrified at going skating in my skate dress, it was only just over a year ago that I was actually among others in a club and a CD group that I wore them around others. And now only a couple months since I’ve actually done actual ice skating while wearing one of my many outfits. Even with all the guts and balls people say I have doing this, I was still hesitant when I went last week from my house, to the rink, some shopping, and then back home in one of my outfits, with no chance of putting pants on since I didn’t take them. I also will admit it’s not quite the same as the many of you who are out and about town, my fascination has been with skate and ballgown style dresses for some time. But it has not been until recently that I actually have worn a simple grey pleated skirt in public. My current taste in clothing does not coincide with the current fashion trend, not even my skate stuff is in style anymore.
I wore my ballgown to my clubs Christmas party and was recently informed that I caused too much undue attention to the group. I can understand this, I know what I wore was a bit over the top, and it did attract attention to the people who do not want attention drawn to them. But how can you draw attention when you are behind your doors and blinds? Talk is talk, I can say all I want about anything I want within the confines of my home, but if there’s nobody to hear what I’m saying, does it make a difference? Even talking in the many groups I have I think makes little impact, sure, I will find some people who agree with me, but that’s all, action for some is a much harder thing to follow through with. I skate alone, and while I may put questions in some peoples minds, there are many others out there that never go out and seek the answers.
Steven
by Steven Arness | Mar 10, 2002 | Thoughts
Some replies I made to a corssdressing group I belonged to.
I too have read all this stuff from both sides, it’s most interesting in what one persons experience has been, and have someone else have something completely different.
I little history on myself may be in order then, when I was younger me and my brother played dress up with some old clothes in the attic. I really like the long style dresses then, and I also liked the body briefer. My dad found out, turned around and burned everything female he could find that wasn’t in there bedroom, and accused me of dragging the family name through the mud if people were to find out. As for my mom, she didn’t care, and would fold my non-boyish clothes in front of him, which at the time was mostly leotards.
Through the years I moved on toward skate dresses, and some of the longer skirted outfits, but most of my collection is of the short skirted leotard styles. My first girlfriend stopped sending me notes after I told here the leotard I had been talking to her about that I said was for my sister, was actually for myself. After that I never really go hunting for a new girlfriend, most recently I have put more feelers out there trying to find a lady who will accept me for the clothing I choose to wear. So far I have met two people on-line who find me to be a most interesting and intriguing person. One who would move here in a heartbeat if I told her to come over, and the other who after our first failed get together in person, said she would email me back when she was able to do it again. Silly me thinking that she would actually email me back saying when and where we could try meeting at again.
I don’t know how rough you may have it, but do you know how much spam and other people I have to deal with who think I am gay or bi? It used to be right in my profile that I was only interested in females (which I turned to a vanilla profile to see if I was scaring away potential ladies) yet I still had men coming after me for sex or to play dress up.
Now maybe there is an accepting GG out there, but maybe I am not the type of person she is looking for, for me, dressing in female clothing is just that, clothing. I do not care to pass, hide or use makeup to cover up my “maleness” nor do I use a fem name. So many other people out there are looking for a GG to teach them how to be more ladylike and to do makeup and be girly. I long time saying of mine has been, “To each his/her own” you can do what you like, and I can do what I like, as long as you don’t try to impose your values onto me. I don’t know what kind of GG would accept me, I am most definitely different then most people I know, even a bit different then some of the other people out there who share the same fascination with skating dresses that I do. I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or go kill people, and if you want to call it a fault, which I do, because it has cost me dearly in my years on this earth, is my truthfulness.
I may not be Romeo, but I’m a good learner.
As per usual I have rambled on saying a bunch of stuff, while not really saying everything I wanted to say. Take it for what it’s worth, it’s not often I type such short letters from the depth of my heart.
Over the years I have researched a great number of sources into why I do what I do. I am not the typical cross-dresser, in fact, I may not be a cross-dresser, but more of a clothing or fabric fetishist. I do not have any of the typical cross-dresser traits. A number of these are; I do not try to “pass”, nor do use makeup, wigs, breast forms, or anything else along those lines. Nor do I choose a “fem” name, or consider my gender to be female, even when I’m wearing female clothing. If you take all that into account I have more of a clothing fetish then I do being a cross-dresser. But now if you look into what most people say what a “fetish” is, they will tell you it is sexual in nature, and is often used to enhance and/or stimulate sexual gratification. So with this I moved myself more into the “kink” realm, but still find myself with having a fetish, just not sexual in nature. Of which most people find very perplexing, as here is a “guy”, wearing a skating dress, a very feminine piece of clothing in itself, yet doesn’t get a hard on wearing it, nor does he choose to finish out the look and try to pass as a female. This same “guy” just walks around doing normal everyday things as anyone one would do when there wearing other kinds of “normal” clothing. Of this, I talk of everyday things, I wash clothes, cook dinner, run the sweeper, watch tv, I even fixed the plumbing once, for me it is just as if I was wearing “regular” clothing.
So think of it as you may, I have a hard time fitting into any one “category” and have all the same problems as most anyone in the same “boat” And to answer your question, no, I have not sought professional help, but I have done an extensive search on who, and what I am.Ok I would like to be a little more blunt in who I am.
If you think I am;
A man who judges people on there physical appearance, give me a break.
A man who is a sub looking for a GG to dom me, I’m not.
A man who demeans women with vulgar remarks, ppppppttttt.
A man who is a CD looking for a GG to dress me up, I’m not.
A man who is a slave to do as you command, I wont.
A man looking for companionship, would be nice.
A man looking for another man for sex, way off base.
A man who uses drugs, yuck.
A man who is a CD looking to please you sexually, not yet.
A man who passes out lies as much as truths, phooey on that.
A man looking for a GG to sissify me, ummm, no.
A man that abuses GG’s either physically, or verbally, no way.
A man with a deep passion and never ending thoughts, yes.
A man who is a total slob, untrue.
A man who is sensitive and caring, I think I am.
A man who is a CD looking for a GG to teach me makeup, I’m not.
A man who drinks enough to be sloshed, heck no.
A man who is a CD looking to be pleased by a GG sexually, not yet.
A man who chases females, not.
A man who enjoys wearing non-normal clothing, I do.
A man looking to hop into bed, I have my own, thanks.
A man who can laugh, cry, and giggle, I will.
A man who watches sports no matter what without fail, HAH.
A man who is uncaring, insensitive, and pathetic, fat chance.
A man who drinks, I don’t.
A man who is a CD looking to go out into public and pass, not really.
A man looking for a GG to be submissive to, NEXT!
A man who is truthful and honest, darn right.
A man looking for another man to play dress up, I think not.
A man looking for a GG to enjoy life with, sure, why not.
A man who is mundane and boring, I hope not.
A man who enjoys smoking, cough cough.
I hope this format is a bit easier to understand.starting to get old, would like to find someone out there with the same interests as I have. My last girfriend that I had 16 years ago in high school was turned off by my interest in wearing leotards. Since then I havn’t been really looking for a soulmate. Not a whole lot of females out there interested in guys that wear leos, skating dresses, or other female clothing. I’m not trying to pass as a female, I just like the look and feel of the outfits. Strictly inside the house. As for my other negatives, I’m a bit of a packrat, have stuff everywhere. Don’t clean all that often, lot of stuff I do takes a while to get done. IMO my house is too small, not enough room for everything to have it’s place. I’m more of a horizontal person, rather then stacking stuff all over the place. I can cook, nothing fancy, make a lot of spazgette, easy, and lasts a while. I don’t make a whole lot of money, but I do enjoy what I do, and for me, thats
what counts. I’m also pretty much a hermit, would rather stay home, watch tv, and work on the computer. Positives, well, I’m truthfull for one, wouldn’t have lost my High School girlfriend if I wasn’t. White lies are normal, but flat out lies I am not good at. I’m not to bad at figuring stuff out, and I can be
pretty persistant. I’m still sensitive, I do cry, laugh, and giggle. I think I can be warm and caring, even though I wasn’t brought up that way. I’m pretty spontanous, maybe not instant, but who knows, haven’t done a whole lot like that. Pretty much maintnence free, guess thats why I’m still unatached. I’m also, believe it or not, still a virgin, guess I’m really not normal I’m I? I also have four cats, just in case your alergic. What kind of person I’m I looking for? Well, thats highly subjective, everyone has there own way of defining themsleves. And while labels are not always good, they can help. Well, for one
thing, you shouldn’t be turned off by my wearing skating dresses. I also wouldn’t mind it if you wore them around the house. I also would like someone who is open minded, independant, sensitive, playful, and truthful. Not interested in someone who is basicly hit and run, looking for a long term relation and friendship. Someone who can take me for I am, faults and all. You can view my profile on Yahoo And if I’m online, give me a chat. Well, thought I’d add a little bit in here, gone unchanged for a while. Well, I’m still looking for a GG (Genetic Girl) I’ve had a couple ladies msg me, and we’ve talked. The last one I almost had met with till she couldn’t make it to the resturaunt, since then she hasn’t emailed me back. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. I still do all the skating dress stuff, currently at almost one-hundred outfits, and another forty or so leotards. I’m currently looking for someone to make one of those nice big victorian, or southern belle dresses. Something with a zillion pettti coats, nice full skirt, high neck, and even some puffy sleeves. My coreset is finaly done, can’t wait to get it, just a simple test one, but it will be something to try. Been watching some old movies also, amazing how we have changed over the years. For ladies there was no such thing as pants, amazing all that they did with what they wore. Even more amazing how people treated each other, there was actually such a thing as dignity, and common curtesy. Rare to find that in people nowdays, everyone is so self centered, and really don’t seem care that they inflict themselves onto other people. Hmm, well, I’ve babled enough for now, otherwise this will extend for pages upon pages.