by Steven Arness | Jul 29, 2012 | Thoughts
I was at work one day when I overheard a customer talking about how they had to pay $125 for their child to play baseball for the summer season when it was free the year before.
I stood their thinking, be lucky that your child is not a figure skater!
There are so many costs involved in figure skating, for one, not every school, let alone city has an ice rink. So right off the bat you may have travel involved, and if you do have a rink to go to, now you have to deal with what time you can go. If your lucky, you may have access to more then one rink, but most of the time there is only one which can severely restrict participation time.
For baseball, basketball, and football, there are usually plenty of options to choose from. Largest obstacle in participating is usually the weather, but even so, there are places that one could practice indoors without too much cost or trouble.
Ok, so you have a rink and a time, now unlike most of the other amenities found in a lot of schools and cities that you can typically use for free, you will have to pay for your ice time even if it is a city owned ice rink.
Wow, ok, so now you have ice to skate on, but guess what? Unlike most sports, you can’t skate with shoes! I know, a bit silly, but think about it, you can play a large variety of other sports without specialized equipment. Certainly you do need some specific equipment to play some sports, but I think figure skates are more specific then say a basketball that just about everyone can use.
Fortunately, once you get your ice and skates, you don’t need much more, some people could argue clothing, but for practicing, you really don’t need anything fancy. Some snug fitting clothing that doesn’t get in the way and has some stretch is all you need.
Ok, so you have all that now, what’s missing? Oh yeah, a coach! Just starting out? No biggie, it’s possible to find group lessons and participate in that, cost effective and generally a good start. But even with that, private lessons are a must if you want to progress further, so more ice time and more costs.
So everything is humming along good and thoughts of testing come to mind, really no biggie in that department as the only thing that most people change is the attire. So something a little more fancy then warmup or practice, but nothing overly blingy. With testing you may have practice ice to pay for as well as a testing fee, and if your coach is there, they typically get paid also.
Next on the list? Competitions! Again, not really much of a change here, a themed costume will be the biggest change. And that cost can be from $200 to $2,000, on top of that, the coach usually attends the competitions to watch, and they typically want paid for their time there. Don’t forget registration and competition (for each event) fees, those need be paid before competing as well as any other fees like facility, practice ice, etc etc. Again, if your lucky, the rink will be nearby, otherwise there’s also travel cost, possibly hotel rooms, meals, and possibly even paying for the coaches meals and room (fortunately these are spilt up at times when coaches have more then one person competing.)
Wow, ok, so a few competitions later, sometimes sooner, guess what? It’s usually time to move up a level, so more time, more lessons, more travel, and of course, a new costume!
So what’s the cost? I’ve heard from a couple thousand and up to $30,000 PER season. Sorry, but I wouldn’t be all that upset in paying $125 compared to what I’ve come across.
by Steven Arness | Jan 24, 2005 | Experiences
wore pants.
Yes, wear pants, your a guy, guy’s wear pants. If you would just wear pants then you would be respected and treated fairly.
And you know what? I tried that, and nothing changed, I was still the adult man that people also knew that I wore skirts and dresses. So no, nothing changed, even my second coach wouldn’t give me a chance to take my warmup pants off even though they interfered with my skating.
wore black skates.
When I started skating, I did the traditional black skates. But when I was skating better and was wearing dresses and tights more often, the saying that “Black goes with everything” wasn’t really true in this case. So I switched to white skates, although I did have a thought when my first pair started to break down to get a different color. Of which most likely would have been blue of all things! I think the white however is a better, more neutral, color to go with.
looked like everyone else.
This one, wow, just wow, why would I want to look like everyone else? Does everyone else really look like everyone else? No, they don’t, so what are we really taking about? Oh, the overall look, yes, ok, so females can choose pants, leggings, skirts, dresses in whatever fit and color they desire. Same with their boots, they don’t have to be white and again can be any color they desire, including black! In fact I’ve seen black, purple, leopard print, pink, green, orange, bedazzled white and who knows what else.
But your a male so your choice is ankle length pants, sleeved shirt, both in dark colors although you’d be ok with a white shirt. Don’t forgot they should be a size or two bigger than you normally wear, and of course black boots.
stopped skating.
Yes, you heard that right, and it boils down to the fact that adults shouldn’t be skating. Although I think in this case they just didn’t want me to skate, but for the most part, adult skaters were the oddity and therefore could be ignored for the most part. If one was lucky, you could find some ice time that was specific to adults as some places restricted participation based on age and not ability. And what a shame too that younger people couldn’t see that there is still skating well beyond their youth.
Of course the majority of the discrimination I faced was unseen, there are a lot of things I tried to do, most of it however in vain.
by Steven Arness | Oct 18, 2004 | Advocacy
I’ll tell you ho I am, I’m Steven Arness, yeah, that Steven Arness, and spell it right, with a “v” and an “n” and the last name is Arness, A r n e s s, the same bloody name my dad feared I would drag through the mud one day for wearing something other then shirts and trousers.
I perpetuate everyone’s cause and fight and don’t think any ones strive for mens alternative clothing is an better or less then another persons fight. My fight involves getting people to accept me for who I am and what I do, but I also fight for others who wish to wear a kilt or skirt when they are about. I wear what I like because that is what I like to wear, I’m not wearing it to gain any kind of recognition or to incite a confrontation. Nor do I ridicule or demean others in their actions in how they want their choice of attire accepted. They have their way, I have mine, and if you think I’m blindly plodding along the wrong path, then so be it, it is my choice and my path!
I attended the MSM march and wore what I liked, I asked Tom if it would be ok for me to come as I did, it was his event and I respected him and his choice of who could participate. We’ve gone over this many times and have had much heated debates already about MY choice of attire. Tom had no problems in letting me express MY choice of attire. Granted, I generally do not wear my skating outfits outside of the rink, they are “skating” outfits after all, but I have no problem going out and about if needed before or after I skate.
Sure, I thought I may get some attention and I could get MY views of acceptable attire out there, but nobody really cared, even the remarks I made never made it to print, even the ones I made about men wearing kilts! I’ve been doing this for years now and continue to seek out others and create dialogues among others and get the word out. I’ve been doing this for far longer then I’ve been involved in online mailing lists or chat groups.
Unrelated to the MSM March, I did finally get a write up in the paper, and this did make a big hit on others and what they thought of it. I answered back every positive and negative remark, I provided insight and thoughtful discussion, I made a difference. I pushed for women to be able to wear trousers when skating, they now enjoy that option. I made that difference. I skated my MIF test in a skirt, even though men supposedly are not allowed, I made a difference.
I have also tried to push alternative clothing for men on the media, I have hundreds of emails and recipients I have sent information to and nobody has ever sent a response back. But I continually strive to make the plight of a man who wishes to wear something other then trousers and still be a man fact and not fiction. Yet all we continually see on TV is men who want to become women, there’s plenty of shows about this and plenty of talk shows that make a mockery of the whole thing. Heck, there’s even a reality TV show about it now, “He’s a lady” All these shows depict men into being something I don’t think they want. There are plenty of men who are just now accepting that they can stay at home and watch the kids, cook dinner, and clean the house while the wife brings in the money. This was an absolute absurdity just a short time ago.
So why doesn’t the media care about a man wearing a kilt or skirt? Because it’s NO BIG DEAL, the only time it is, is if he’s trying to be a women at the same time, or if he’s drunk. How many men must suffer the wrath of being called child molesters or sexual perverts because they wear a skirt even though no statistics support such accusations? When is the last time you wrote a letter to the media complaining about the way a boy wearing a skirt was treated? I don’t search for such items, fortunately someone else points them out for me, and then I write a letter if needed to support or discredit what was written.
Sure for some men to wear such clothing it is a sexual thing, why shouldn’t it be? They are denied it, so they lust it instead. And almost everyone of course around them tells them that it is wrong, that they should not have such feelings over a piece of clothing. I didn’t know anything about sex when I first started wearing, I tried it, I liked it, I didn’t go too much further after my dad blew his top, but it didn’t stop me. I never thought of the clothing as sexual thing, or that I wanted to be a female, I liked the fit, I liked the style, and I liked the flow, I liked it so I wore it. I didn’t have a sexual lust over it, nor did I think of myself as being girly or wanting to be a female. I deal already with the countless other people, including my mom, who thinks I should just go all the way to keep people from getting all antsy. But that is not me, to do such a thing would be a lie, and one thing I cannot stand is lying, that is why I am who I am, and that is why I do what I do.
Have you ever thought of it as that it is wrong because we make it wrong? Why is it wrong that someone doesn’t stop at a stop light? Why they might injure themselves or others if they do so. Why is it wrong to consider a women wearing pants a deviant? Because a long time ago, Amelia Jenks Bloomer (1818-1894) stood up and fought for the right to wear them, and she even had a permission slip from the mayor saying that the could! Why is it wrong for a male to wear a skirt? Because a long time ago males lost the choice in having that choice. If males had not lost that choice we would not be sitting here arguing about what type of clothing a man should and shouldn’t be allowed to wear. We also wouldn’t be thinking of all the sexual connotation of it because it wouldn’t have any. And most assuredly if a man was skating, he most likely would be wearing a shirt skirt also.
It’s not wrong because it is, it’s wrong because people think it’s wrong. Everyone of us is different, we all have different ideals of what we, and others, should, and shouldn’t be.
I am not only active in trying to gain support for what I want to wear, but also the freedom of what any other man chooses to wear. I put myself in the front line of it every time I choose to, I make it plain and clear of who and what I am, I do it and I am not ashamed of doing it.
Go ahead, tell me what I’m doing and striving for is wrong, it’s not going to help as it will only have me seek my goal that much faster as I’ve only just begun to fight.
Steven J. Arness
GOT EDGE?
by Steven Arness | Oct 18, 2004 | Advocacy
Who am I?
I’m Steven Arness, yeah, that Steven Arness, and spell it right, with a “v” and an “n” and the last name is Arness, A r n e s s, the same bloody name my dad feared I would drag through the mud one day for wearing something other then shirts and trousers.
I perpetuate everyone’s cause and fight and don’t think any ones strive for mens alternative clothing is an better or less then another persons fight. My fight involves getting people to accept me for who I am and what I do, but I also fight for others who wish to wear a kilt or skirt when they are about. I wear what I like because that is what I like to wear, I’m not wearing it to gain any kind of recognition or to incite a confrontation. Nor do I ridicule or demean others in their actions in how they want their choice of attire accepted. They have their way, I have mine, and if you think I’m blindly plodding along the wrong path, then so be it, it is my choice and my path!
I attended the MSM march and wore what I liked, I asked Tom if it would be ok for me to come as I did, it was his event and I respected him and his choice of who could participate. We’ve gone over this many times and have had much heated debates already about MY choice of attire. Tom had no problems in letting me express MY choice of attire. Granted, I generally do not wear my skating outfits outside of the rink, they are “skating” outfits after all, but I have no problem going out and about if needed before or after I skate.
Sure, I thought I may get some attention and I could get MY views of acceptable attire out there, but nobody really cared, even the remarks I made never made it to print, even the ones I made about men wearing kilts! I’ve been doing this for years now and continue to seek out others and create dialogues among others and get the word out. I’ve been doing this for far longer then I’ve been involved in online mailing lists or chat groups.
Unrelated to the MSM March, I did finally get a write up in the paper, and this did make a big hit on others and what they thought of it. I answered back every positive and negative remark, I provided insight and thoughtful discussion, I made a difference. I pushed for women to be able to wear trousers when skating, they now enjoy that option. I made that difference. I skated my MIF test in a skirt, even though men supposedly are not allowed, I made a difference.
I have also tried to push alternative clothing for men on the media, I have hundreds of emails and recipients I have sent information to and nobody has ever sent a response back. But I continually strive to make the plight of a man who wishes to wear something other then trousers and still be a man fact and not fiction. Yet all we continually see on TV is men who want to become women, there’s plenty of shows about this and plenty of talk shows that make a mockery of the whole thing. Heck, there’s even a reality TV show about it now, “He’s a lady” All these shows depict men into being something I don’t think they want. There are plenty of men who are just now accepting that they can stay at home and watch the kids, cook dinner, and clean the house while the wife brings in the money. This was an absolute absurdity just a short time ago.
So why doesn’t the media care about a man wearing a kilt or skirt? Because it’s NO BIG DEAL, the only time it is, is if he’s trying to be a women at the same time, or if he’s drunk. How many men must suffer the wrath of being called child molesters or sexual perverts because they wear a skirt even though no statistics support such accusations? When is the last time you wrote a letter to the media complaining about the way a boy wearing a skirt was treated? I don’t search for such items, fortunately someone else points them out for me, and then I write a letter if needed to support or discredit what was written.
Sure for some men to wear such clothing it is a sexual thing, why shouldn’t it be? They are denied it, so they lust it instead. And almost everyone of course around them tells them that it is wrong, that they should not have such feelings over a piece of clothing. I didn’t know anything about sex when I first started wearing, I tried it, I liked it, I didn’t go too much further after my dad blew his top, but it didn’t stop me. I never thought of the clothing as sexual thing, or that I wanted to be a female, I liked the fit, I liked the style, and I liked the flow, I liked it so I wore it. I didn’t have a sexual lust over it, nor did I think of myself as being girly or wanting to be a female. I deal already with the countless other people, including my mom, who thinks I should just go all the way to keep people from getting all antsy. But that is not me, to do such a thing would be a lie, and one thing I cannot stand is lying, that is why I am who I am, and that is why I do what I do.
Have you ever thought of it as that it is wrong because we make it wrong? Why is it wrong that someone doesn’t stop at a stop light? Why they might injure themselves or others if they do so. Why is it wrong to consider a women wearing pants a deviant? Because a long time ago, Amelia Jenks Bloomer (1818-1894) stood up and fought for the right to wear them, and she even had a permission slip from the mayor saying that the could! Why is it wrong for a male to wear a skirt? Because a long time ago males lost the choice in having that choice. If males had not lost that choice we would not be sitting here arguing about what type of clothing a man should and shouldn’t be allowed to wear. We also wouldn’t be thinking of all the sexual connotation of it because it wouldn’t have any. And most assuredly if a man was skating, he most likely would be wearing a shirt skirt also.
It’s not wrong because it is, it’s wrong because people think it’s wrong. Everyone of us is different, we all have different ideals of what we, and others, should, and shouldn’t be.
I am not only active in trying to gain support for what I want to wear, but also the freedom of what any other man chooses to wear. I put myself in the front line of it every time I choose to, I make it plain and clear of who and what I am, I do it and I am not ashamed of doing it.
Go ahead, tell me what I’m doing and striving for is wrong, it’s not going to help as it will only have me seek my goal that much faster as I’ve only just begun to fight.
Steven J. Arness
GOT EDGE?
by Steven Arness | Sep 18, 2004 | Experiences
When I was skating at my winter rink during the morning sessions there were several other skaters either practicing or taking lessons. One lady who’s daughter was there skating, of which I tried to have small talk with, was on the shy side of responding. I didn’t push it or anything like that, and I can’t even recall what I was commenting on.
Then one day her mom suggested that I attend their church, for what, I do not exactly recall.
Anyways, I attended and sat behind them with the preacher talking about how he was happy about the congregation accepting him as their preacher even though he didn’t always wear the traditional attire. He talked about some other things and about casting stones when in a glass house.
At the end of all this, she turned around and gave me a hug and apologized for her thoughts and actions.
I thought wow, OK, we are doing good now and talking won’t be so awkward.
Unfortunately back at the rink, things didn’t change, I still couldn’t chit chat with them or have any kind of meaningful conversations. I wrote several letters, but it didn’t seem to matter for any kind of progress.
I’m an open person, and I’m certainly willing to listen to others and what they have to say, but I am also my own person.
It makes me wonder too if she spoke with the preacher before the services to see if they could say something related to my clothing choices. If she did, then I would say it did not work in her favor and the preacher was on point in their words.
