by Steven Arness | Jul 5, 2004 | Experiences
So I’m doing my warmups, and then probably a good 10-15 minutes doing back crossovers each direction as well as figure 8’s.
I think I did a lap or two to cool down then went to work on spins (still my nemesis!) Anyways, I attempted a spin and when I stopped, I suddenly felt my butt get cold. I looked around and was like ?!?!? I ran my hand around and such but nothing was obvious. So I tried another spin and I felt my butt get cold again! And was like, what the heck?! I did another spin, and it happened again! This time I took my gloves off checked my skirt and butt (discreetly of course!) I found that I was a bit warm and maybe a tad damp from sweat (velvet material).
What I then figured out is that when I was just standing, my skirt was resting on my butt and getting warmed. When I did my spins, it was being cooled off by the air. And then when I stopped, it fell back down on my butt and the coolness was very noticeable!
What’s more funny is that I posted about my experience on a skating forum I was on and someone commented on me of being perverted talking about such things, especially being a man wearing a dress.
All I could think of was, I just experienced something you never will, and it was hilarious!
by Steven Arness | Jun 23, 2004 | Thoughts
ME
by Steven, a.k.a., Steven
For those who may not know me, I’m the guy who skates in a skirt, yes, that guy, if you haven’t seen me, I’ve been told I have great legs. I hope in this rather brief (for me anyways) letter to provide some insight as to who I am, and to settle some of the gossip and fears that ye may have.
Well, lets see, I’m a guy who wears skirts and dresses, (pants and shirts too, but there so ho hum), but I don’t care to pass, or go through all the things I would need to do to pass as a female just because I’m wearing an article of clothing that society considers “for females only” To go through all that for me would be a lie, lying is something that I just can’t do with reckless abandon, and just tears me up. I also don’t see any reason that I should look female if I want to wear a skirt or dress, (although my mom thinks I should get a wig so I fit in). Martin Luther King Jr did not tell black people to wear makeup so that they would be accepted into society more readily. It’s also been funny to come across men who won’t do some moves because they are too “feminine” Their reason being that they are a man, and macho men don’t do such moves.
As someone recently reminded me, sex is ones physical attributes, and that gender is between the ears, Although not DNA tested, I’m pretty sure I’m male in the physical department, as for between my ears, that’s a good question. If you go with what society would say I am, it would be female, I don’t express many of the typical male traits. I’m not much into sports, I don’t chase women, I don’t make vulgar comments about how someone looks, and I try not to inflict myself onto others. Among however many other typical male traits are out there, I really don’t fit into many of those. Yet since I look male, that is how I am perceived and treated.
As for female traits, I don’t know, what I would really ask is, other then someone’s sex, what makes one person male, and another female? Does a female who holds the door open for someone a male? Is a man who sews a female? Or is a women with short hair more macho then a man with long hair? I’m in serious trouble if men aren’t supposed to cry, so don’t tell anyone, ok? I could go on and on with examples, but other then ones sex, what is the difference between a male and female? Why does society say that the manners or clothing that someone exhibits places them in a different gender then their sex?
It is estimated that about 10% of the male population crossdresses, that is, they wear female clothing use makeup, wigs, falsies, etc… And try to pass as the opposite sex (while over 50% have worn, or do wear female attire). While everyone likes to label me as a crossdresser, I’m sure by now that it is quite obvious that I do not try to pass as a women. I do not consider women who wear pants crossdressing, (unless they have flattened their chest and added a bulge.) So neither do I consider myself a crossdresser. While on the subject of statistics, there are very few gays who crossdress, which coincidently corresponds to the high number of men who crossdress and are heterosexual. Also keeping with this, there is no correlation as to the fact that just because someone crossdresses, there automatically a rapist, murderer, or child molester.
Having said that, I have now dug myself into a hole, since I could arguably hide behind the statistics of being a crossdresser. But that is not who I am, and neither am I any of the other things. (Gay, child molester, murderer, rapist, you can ask or check my record if you want)
I’ve had people argue about it both ways with me, one group saying that I’m looking for trouble and hurt with what I’m doing. And the other more interesting group saying, “Your still you, so what?” Of course I’m also stuck between the crossdressers who are inflamed that I dress like a women, but refuse to look or act like one. Saying that I am doing a disservice to all genetic and TV, TG, TS, and CD’s out there with my appearance. And on the other end I have to deal with the straights who want no part in dealing with a guy wearing a dress, who is most obviously a guy, no if’s and’s or but’s about it.
I don’t see any reason to change who I am relative to what I’m wearing, I will hold the door for anyone, boy/girl, man/women, CD/TV/TG/TS, black/white, or a purple and green polka dotted alien, or just about anything else that’s going through the door. I try to be considerate of others and not impose myself or opinions onto them. Unfortunately most people have no clue in how to act civilized, or to be considerate of others, and chose instead to impose there opinions and actions onto others. Common sense, courtesy, and manners need to be re-ingrained into some peoples heads. Someone’s actions and manners decide for me, not their appearance.
Now saying all that, I will say that I have run across some folks who don’t seem to care one bit in what I’m wearing, and talk to me just like any other human being. (Me, a human? How about that!)
I deal with a great number of people on this, and It’s funny on how some people comment and fuss over all the things associated with dressing. I’m annoyed by people asking women as to what clothing they wear and what stuff they do with it that gets them “hot” People like that do not understand that for most people, clothing is just clothing. There’s nothing to it, and is as common and ordinary as eating and sleeping, sometimes trying to educate the narrow minded is a bottomless pit, and I wonder why I waste my time.
I also find it distressing to come across people who think the only way to wear a skirt or dress is that they have to look female in thinking they have to do this to fit into society. Do women who wear pants have to drink beer, belch, make vulgar comments, watch football, etc…? How about a women who wears mens clothing? Does she have to look like a man to do so? Men used to wear wigs, makeup, tunics, tights, etc… For some reason through the ages, men have lost the ability to wear something other then shirts, pants or something fancy without being unduly labeled as weird. I ponder if ladies would be competing in pants today if Sonja Henie hadn’t been daring enough to wear something different. FYI, the leotard was originally invented by a man for men.
My choice in clothing is as much akin as to someone’s taste in music, I like Bach, Tchaikovsky, Mozart, and other classical composers. Others like jazz, polka, country, rap, and/or other various styles. And while I may dislike someone’s taste in music, what one likes is purely their choice, if I don’t like it, that’s my opinion. And unless someone asks for it, it’s irrelevant.
I hope this short letter has given you some insights as to who I am, and hopefully given some answers for those of you who are uncomfortable in asking me in person. If you do have other questions/concerns however, please do not hesitate to ask, I promise I won’t bite. The hardest question for me to answer is the one not asked, and I’d rather you ask me then assume.
How about this weather were having?
by Steven Arness | Feb 26, 2004 | Thoughts
Ok, lets see if I can still remember everything!
Flying in wasn’t too bad, did hit a few bumps in the air and we arrived early but ended up waiting anyways to get into the gate, luggage made it through relatively unscaved, at least it didn’t get lost!
Thursday was relatively quite, I just went and bought some fast food before turning in for the night. Friday morning turned out to be cold and rainy day but I made it over to the the Today Show before 7am wearing my favorite blue outfit. I did get whistled at on my walk over by someone on the other side of the street, but I just kept walking along, hehe. Was only a couple other people who made it to the Today Show, but we sorta lost out getting any coverage because of them finding that murdered girl, and standing on the wrong side. Someone from the show did come out and take pictures of everyone in line of which I picked up after the show was over at 10am (and I needed to get warm!) I did some walking around the NBC store and then walked back to the hotel for a HOT bath as I was thoroughly chilled.
I changed into my black glitter dot slinky dress and headed over to Applebees for lunch (yeah I know, I’m all the way in New York and I choose Applebees) after which I headed down to the fabric district to look for some fabric, one lady commented on my outfit, she really liked it. And talk about fabric, yowza, rolls and rolls of fabric, all kinds of colors, patterns and what not, talk about overkill! On the walk back to the hotel some guy walking past me asked where my necklace was at. I played dumb but I’m assuming he was talking about a gay pride necklace. Maybe it was my purse that offended him, but I thought it was silly since he was carrying a purse like object under his arms, ignorant people are like that I guess. I went afterwards to dinner and before leaving the owner said she liked my outfit, I talked with her for a good ten minutes about what it was all about and what I was in town for, great chat overall.
Saturday was better weather (Yippie!) I dressed again in my favorite blue outfit, I could have been more subtle, but I said, what the heck? Fifteen minute walk to the bus stop, (I could have taken another bus or subway, but I was going to be early as it was) There was a good group of people already at the Guggenheim Museum when I arrived and was great to meet a lot of the people I knew online in person. The march was fantastic, it really made me proud to be in there fighting for fashion freedom, fact is, I even had a tear in my eye thinking about it. Down at the Met it was pretty cool having everyone there just chatting away, the exhibit was ok I guess, I think it lacked in some things, but other things were good and in depth. After the tour I headed back to the hotel to freshen up and out to get something to eat before meeting up again at Union Square. Oh what a mess that was! Subway ride down was fine, but then the other train to get over there was broke down so I hoofed part of it and bussed the rest, but I wasn’t too late I guess and overall that was a good place to be talking to others about who and what we are. I must have had at least five ladies comment on my legs, and three more that wanted them that day, sorry ladies, I’m still using them! I made it back to my hotel in time to pick up my skate bag and head over to Rockefeller Center and get in a 1/2 hour of skating before dinner. Rockefeller was ok, ice was torn up a lot already and there must have been a good 50+ people on the ice. Price isn’t too bad, $11 for about 3 hours of ice, but definitely a tourist attraction as rental skates cost $6! I had a little girl come up and say that her friend asked her to ask me if I was gay (oh yeah, standard question, lol) I asked her if she was gay for wearing pants, she said no. She then asked if I was married of which I told her I wasn’t and that she was a bit young for me, hehe. But overall I was able to have a bit of fun, did get a couple jumps in and even some spins, fell down doing my 1/2 lutz however, but nothing serious. Had some great chats however, and not all about my clothing either!
After skating I headed over to the bus stop to get to the restaurant, talk about a packed house! I changed into my more fancy blue outfit, even though it wasn’t a fancy dinner meeting, but again, what the heck? Talking to everyone again was great, being able to just sit, listen in and chat was great fun. The speakers were great also, I know people were hoping it wouldn’t be too dry! I know I had a couple claps in my speech, and boy did I make a mess with some of it, teach me for not writing everything out! What was a hoot was that I won a kilt in the raffle drawing, boy did that make a lot of people happy! Afterwards I went back to the hotel only to find I missed the 11pm news in which we supposedly did get some coverage on.
Sunday was another horrid day, 20 degrees out and 30mph winds or more! (Alas I wore pants this day) I didn’t make it far anywhere that day, but did walk through times square, (it’s not really square! LOL) and took the subway to the World Trade Center site, very humble experience. I tried to find a place to eat before leaving the hotel to no avail, just not that many places open early in the morning, so I ended up going back to the hotel and checking out. I did find a place on the way to get something to eat before heading to the airport. Departure went along just fine, no hangups or anything, and again we arrived early to the gate but ended up waiting for the luggage to arrive!
All in all it was a great trip, course the press did a mess of a job reporting it, anyone who saw the headline of 100 men in New York wanting to wear a skirt, that was us, as for the one in the tutu, well, that was me, even though it wasn’t a tutu! But boy did the media make a mess of it, don’t think they bothered to do much research before sending it off. Guess there is always next time, and next time we’ll just have to make sure they do a better job!
Steven
by Steven Arness | Sep 29, 2003 | Advocacy
ME
By Steven, aka Steven
It has come to my attention that there are those of you in the Kent Skating Club that have some concerns over who I am. I write this very brief letter, (and yes, one page is brief for me, ask anyone who really knows me!) in a hope for you to understand me better, and more so in that such concerns have not been brought to me directly by the individuals who express these concerns. I also write this to help clarify any misconceptions you may have about me, as many people assume the kind of person I am based on my outward appearance without actually getting to know me for who I am on the inside.
From what I gather, some of you are concerned for your kids, I do hope that you do not think that I want to do anything to your kids or bring them harm. I don’t even hurt flies, and as a matter of fact, if I see a fly on the ice, I pick it up and put it outside the boards. Suffice it to say, I love kids, I would never do anything to intentionally harm them either physically or emotionally. I hope you can trust my words in me saying that, as I am the kind of person to step in at a moments notice to help those in trouble, or in need, be it a friend or stranger. I’m also a person who stands by what I say, while lying for some is common or even tolerable, it is something that I am definitely not well with.
In all my experiences I have found kids to be very perceptive, and much more open minded and accepting, I have never found anyone that was threatened by me, but more so it being the parents of some kids who do not understand me when any problems have arisen. With some parents who care to listen to my words, I have been able to explain who I am, and most are very satisfied with my explanations. I will admit however, that I have come across some that do not care to understand, or listen to the words I have to say. One can always lead a horse to water, but to get it to drink is another task in of itself.
And now to the meat and potatoes before I start running over my self imposed one page limit! For the longest time I’ve enjoyed watching figure skating, the moves, footwork, jumps, spins, and what not, of course, if it’s not already obvious, I also have a fascination with the clothing. Unfortunately I find most mens clothing rather plain and overly bland while ladies express themselves through an endless number of choices including mens styles. As such, I’ve felt there is no reason to restrict myself as to what society says I can and cannot wear. For one, it’s just clothing, something that covers my skin, men never used to wear pants, same with women. Women nowadays however enjoy the freedom to wear pants and not be ridiculed or discriminated against for doing so. Secondly, men who wear styles that are typically worm by females are thought of as deviants and other such things. I am male in both my sex and gender, my orientation is also hetro, even though most people assume male figure skaters are gay. I am who I am, not what others may think or assume I am. Just as a women wearing pants is still a women, I am still a man no matter what gender of clothing I am wearing. Thirdly, I am a human, and normal.
I’ve kept this short and to the point, and I hope to have provided some insight as to who and what I am, and what I am not. If you still wish to not get to know me for who I am on the inside based on my clothing on the outside, that’s fine, it’s fortunate that I do not discriminate in such a manor, nor am I a bigot. On the other hand, if you do wish to have a chat, chat away, I won’t bite, (well, maybe a little if you taste like chicken) I promise!
Steven
by Steven Arness | Aug 13, 2003 | Experiences
Was a most interesting yet perplexing day, I went to the noon session of skating, wearing one of my skate dresses. Ladies seem to enjoy the freedom of wearing a dress or pants without any odd looks, I didn’t really get any odd looks, just the typical avoidance. I said my usual good mornings and hi’s. The frigid straight ahead looks and un-emotional responses from some is nothing new, I wasn’t expected anything more or less, just being polite.
I stretched out for a while, something I need to work on more, as I’ve pulled my calf, thigh, and back muscles so far. A good stretch I’ve found is essential to do beforehand to avoid this. Public session opened up and I started skating my warmup laps, and out of the blue a lady starts chatting with me. I don’t have a photographic memory, so I will just highlight the points I remember.
One comment was that nobody really talked to me, after all, I was a guy in a dress, and most assuredly I must be some kind of weirdo. I tried to explain to her that my clothing was just that, clothing, while not normal for a man to wear, it was something that I liked.. I tried to explain that men have a pathetic choice when it comes to clothing, a book of one-thousand pages of skate wear would have nine-hundred and ninety-eight pages of skate dresses, one page of mens wear, and one page for ordering. To this she agreed that ladies have much more choices in that area, but she insisted that I could at least wear skate pants. As I mentioned I hated skating in jeans for there lack of freedom. I jokingly replied that I’ve been told I have great legs, and why not show them? But alas pants are what I should be wearing, and not tights, even though men used to wear tights/leggings when skating in the past.
I commented on my fascination of the skirt, while one may wear pants and a shirt, there’s really nothing to it, and of course for my taste, most bland. The skirt on the other hand is something most interesting, technically it serves no purpose, I don’t care for their excuse that it is for modesty. If they wanted modesty, they’d make everyone wear unitards, or shirts and pants. But, given all the variations of skirts out there, it adds a most interesting element to an outfit. I myself am amazed out how such a simple piece of fabric effects the whole look of something.
Another comment was that some people are born with physical attributes, and as such have no control in how they are perceived by others, while my clothing choice is something that can be chosen. I won’t argue with that, and I will admit that there are some people I see with physical attributes that make them stand out from the “norm” But I feel she was saying they had no choice in the matter, while I on the other hand do have a choice in what I choose to wear. And that I chose to wear such clothing as to draw attention to myself. Like many of the current females out there with barely any clothing on as to attract attention. Again, I tried to tell her that the clothing was just clothing, someone wearing a skate dress does not necessarily draw attention, (although some do), but since I was a guy wearing it, I drew all kind of attention.
Another lady found it most interesting that I was a guy wearing a dress, yet she was a girl and refused to wear one. She’s been skating for may years, and would compete and such, but the rules state that she must wear a skirt. To that effect she continues to skate for her own enjoyment. While the rules say that a man must wear trousers, it does not prohibit one from wearing skirt, ladies must have skirts and “pants” covering the hips and posterior. Now if that isn’t a biased and sexist rule, I don’t know what is.
In 1983, Scott Hamilton decided that he’d had enough of flamboyant, glittery costumes and adopted a plain, one-piece outfit similar to the suits worn by speed skaters. “No way did I want to want my potential Olympic moment to be marred by a costume that I would be embarrassed to look at 10 years down the road,” he wrote in his autobiography. Not only did dressing like a serious athlete reflect his own attitude toward his skating, but he thought it might “get cynics to start taking figure skating seriously as a sport.”
While some men think they are repressed in there clothing choices, it seems that some women are just as repressed.
Even after my lengthy discussion with the first lady, I fear she does not fully understand my choice in clothing, and hence will fall back to assumptions rather then asking me.
Steven
