Who am I?

by Steven Arness | Oct 18, 2004 | Advocacy

I’ll tell you ho I am, I’m Steven Arness, yeah, that Steven Arness, and spell it right, with a “v” and an “n” and the last name is Arness, A r n e s s, the same bloody name my dad feared I would drag through the mud one day for wearing something other then shirts and trousers.

I perpetuate everyone’s cause and fight and don’t think any ones strive for mens alternative clothing is an better or less then another persons fight. My fight involves getting people to accept me for who I am and what I do, but I also fight for others who wish to wear a kilt or skirt when they are about. I wear what I like because that is what I like to wear, I’m not wearing it to gain any kind of recognition or to incite a confrontation. Nor do I ridicule or demean others in their actions in how they want their choice of attire accepted. They have their way, I have mine, and if you think I’m blindly plodding along the wrong path, then so be it, it is my choice and my path!

I attended the MSM march and wore what I liked, I asked Tom if it would be ok for me to come as I did, it was his event and I respected him and his choice of who could participate. We’ve gone over this many times and have had much heated debates already about MY choice of attire. Tom had no problems in letting me express MY choice of attire. Granted, I generally do not wear my skating outfits outside of the rink, they are “skating” outfits after all, but I have no problem going out and about if needed before or after I skate.

Sure, I thought I may get some attention and I could get MY views of acceptable attire out there, but nobody really cared, even the remarks I made never made it to print, even the ones I made about men wearing kilts! I’ve been doing this for years now and continue to seek out others and create dialogues among others and get the word out. I’ve been doing this for far longer then I’ve been involved in online mailing lists or chat groups.

Unrelated to the MSM March, I did finally get a write up in the paper, and this did make a big hit on others and what they thought of it. I answered back every positive and negative remark, I provided insight and thoughtful discussion, I made a difference. I pushed for women to be able to wear trousers when skating, they now enjoy that option. I made that difference. I skated my MIF test in a skirt, even though men supposedly are not allowed, I made a difference.

I have also tried to push alternative clothing for men on the media, I have hundreds of emails and recipients I have sent information to and nobody has ever sent a response back. But I continually strive to make the plight of a man who wishes to wear something other then trousers and still be a man fact and not fiction. Yet all we continually see on TV is men who want to become women, there’s plenty of shows about this and plenty of talk shows that make a mockery of the whole thing. Heck, there’s even a reality TV show about it now, “He’s a lady” All these shows depict men into being something I don’t think they want. There are plenty of men who are just now accepting that they can stay at home and watch the kids, cook dinner, and clean the house while the wife brings in the money. This was an absolute absurdity just a short time ago.

So why doesn’t the media care about a man wearing a kilt or skirt? Because it’s NO BIG DEAL, the only time it is, is if he’s trying to be a women at the same time, or if he’s drunk. How many men must suffer the wrath of being called child molesters or sexual perverts because they wear a skirt even though no statistics support such accusations? When is the last time you wrote a letter to the media complaining about the way a boy wearing a skirt was treated? I don’t search for such items, fortunately someone else points them out for me, and then I write a letter if needed to support or discredit what was written.

Sure for some men to wear such clothing it is a sexual thing, why shouldn’t it be? They are denied it, so they lust it instead. And almost everyone of course around them tells them that it is wrong, that they should not have such feelings over a piece of clothing. I didn’t know anything about sex when I first started wearing, I tried it, I liked it, I didn’t go too much further after my dad blew his top, but it didn’t stop me. I never thought of the clothing as sexual thing, or that I wanted to be a female, I liked the fit, I liked the style, and I liked the flow, I liked it so I wore it. I didn’t have a sexual lust over it, nor did I think of myself as being girly or wanting to be a female. I deal already with the countless other people, including my mom, who thinks I should just go all the way to keep people from getting all antsy. But that is not me, to do such a thing would be a lie, and one thing I cannot stand is lying, that is why I am who I am, and that is why I do what I do.

Have you ever thought of it as that it is wrong because we make it wrong? Why is it wrong that someone doesn’t stop at a stop light? Why they might injure themselves or others if they do so. Why is it wrong to consider a women wearing pants a deviant? Because a long time ago, Amelia Jenks Bloomer (1818-1894) stood up and fought for the right to wear them, and she even had a permission slip from the mayor saying that the could! Why is it wrong for a male to wear a skirt? Because a long time ago males lost the choice in having that choice. If males had not lost that choice we would not be sitting here arguing about what type of clothing a man should and shouldn’t be allowed to wear. We also wouldn’t be thinking of all the sexual connotation of it because it wouldn’t have any. And most assuredly if a man was skating, he most likely would be wearing a shirt skirt also.

It’s not wrong because it is, it’s wrong because people think it’s wrong. Everyone of us is different, we all have different ideals of what we, and others, should, and shouldn’t be.

I am not only active in trying to gain support for what I want to wear, but also the freedom of what any other man chooses to wear. I put myself in the front line of it every time I choose to, I make it plain and clear of who and what I am, I do it and I am not ashamed of doing it.

Go ahead, tell me what I’m doing and striving for is wrong, it’s not going to help as it will only have me seek my goal that much faster as I’ve only just begun to fight.

Steven J. Arness
GOT EDGE?

Million Skirted Men Rebuttal on Tom’s Café

by Steven Arness | Oct 18, 2004 | Advocacy

Who am I?

I’m Steven Arness, yeah, that Steven Arness, and spell it right, with a “v” and an “n” and the last name is Arness, A r n e s s, the same bloody name my dad feared I would drag through the mud one day for wearing something other then shirts and trousers.

I perpetuate everyone’s cause and fight and don’t think any ones strive for mens alternative clothing is an better or less then another persons fight. My fight involves getting people to accept me for who I am and what I do, but I also fight for others who wish to wear a kilt or skirt when they are about. I wear what I like because that is what I like to wear, I’m not wearing it to gain any kind of recognition or to incite a confrontation. Nor do I ridicule or demean others in their actions in how they want their choice of attire accepted. They have their way, I have mine, and if you think I’m blindly plodding along the wrong path, then so be it, it is my choice and my path!

I attended the MSM march and wore what I liked, I asked Tom if it would be ok for me to come as I did, it was his event and I respected him and his choice of who could participate. We’ve gone over this many times and have had much heated debates already about MY choice of attire. Tom had no problems in letting me express MY choice of attire. Granted, I generally do not wear my skating outfits outside of the rink, they are “skating” outfits after all, but I have no problem going out and about if needed before or after I skate.

Sure, I thought I may get some attention and I could get MY views of acceptable attire out there, but nobody really cared, even the remarks I made never made it to print, even the ones I made about men wearing kilts! I’ve been doing this for years now and continue to seek out others and create dialogues among others and get the word out. I’ve been doing this for far longer then I’ve been involved in online mailing lists or chat groups.

Unrelated to the MSM March, I did finally get a write up in the paper, and this did make a big hit on others and what they thought of it. I answered back every positive and negative remark, I provided insight and thoughtful discussion, I made a difference. I pushed for women to be able to wear trousers when skating, they now enjoy that option. I made that difference. I skated my MIF test in a skirt, even though men supposedly are not allowed, I made a difference.

I have also tried to push alternative clothing for men on the media, I have hundreds of emails and recipients I have sent information to and nobody has ever sent a response back. But I continually strive to make the plight of a man who wishes to wear something other then trousers and still be a man fact and not fiction. Yet all we continually see on TV is men who want to become women, there’s plenty of shows about this and plenty of talk shows that make a mockery of the whole thing. Heck, there’s even a reality TV show about it now, “He’s a lady” All these shows depict men into being something I don’t think they want. There are plenty of men who are just now accepting that they can stay at home and watch the kids, cook dinner, and clean the house while the wife brings in the money. This was an absolute absurdity just a short time ago.

So why doesn’t the media care about a man wearing a kilt or skirt? Because it’s NO BIG DEAL, the only time it is, is if he’s trying to be a women at the same time, or if he’s drunk. How many men must suffer the wrath of being called child molesters or sexual perverts because they wear a skirt even though no statistics support such accusations? When is the last time you wrote a letter to the media complaining about the way a boy wearing a skirt was treated? I don’t search for such items, fortunately someone else points them out for me, and then I write a letter if needed to support or discredit what was written.

Sure for some men to wear such clothing it is a sexual thing, why shouldn’t it be? They are denied it, so they lust it instead. And almost everyone of course around them tells them that it is wrong, that they should not have such feelings over a piece of clothing. I didn’t know anything about sex when I first started wearing, I tried it, I liked it, I didn’t go too much further after my dad blew his top, but it didn’t stop me. I never thought of the clothing as sexual thing, or that I wanted to be a female, I liked the fit, I liked the style, and I liked the flow, I liked it so I wore it. I didn’t have a sexual lust over it, nor did I think of myself as being girly or wanting to be a female. I deal already with the countless other people, including my mom, who thinks I should just go all the way to keep people from getting all antsy. But that is not me, to do such a thing would be a lie, and one thing I cannot stand is lying, that is why I am who I am, and that is why I do what I do.

Have you ever thought of it as that it is wrong because we make it wrong? Why is it wrong that someone doesn’t stop at a stop light? Why they might injure themselves or others if they do so. Why is it wrong to consider a women wearing pants a deviant? Because a long time ago, Amelia Jenks Bloomer (1818-1894) stood up and fought for the right to wear them, and she even had a permission slip from the mayor saying that the could! Why is it wrong for a male to wear a skirt? Because a long time ago males lost the choice in having that choice. If males had not lost that choice we would not be sitting here arguing about what type of clothing a man should and shouldn’t be allowed to wear. We also wouldn’t be thinking of all the sexual connotation of it because it wouldn’t have any. And most assuredly if a man was skating, he most likely would be wearing a shirt skirt also.

It’s not wrong because it is, it’s wrong because people think it’s wrong. Everyone of us is different, we all have different ideals of what we, and others, should, and shouldn’t be.

I am not only active in trying to gain support for what I want to wear, but also the freedom of what any other man chooses to wear. I put myself in the front line of it every time I choose to, I make it plain and clear of who and what I am, I do it and I am not ashamed of doing it.

Go ahead, tell me what I’m doing and striving for is wrong, it’s not going to help as it will only have me seek my goal that much faster as I’ve only just begun to fight.

Steven J. Arness
GOT EDGE?

Steven and the Kent Skating Club

by Steven Arness | Sep 29, 2003 | Advocacy

ME
By Steven, aka Steven

It has come to my attention that there are those of you in the Kent Skating Club that have some concerns over who I am. I write this very brief letter, (and yes, one page is brief for me, ask anyone who really knows me!) in a hope for you to understand me better, and more so in that such concerns have not been brought to me directly by the individuals who express these concerns. I also write this to help clarify any misconceptions you may have about me, as many people assume the kind of person I am based on my outward appearance without actually getting to know me for who I am on the inside.

From what I gather, some of you are concerned for your kids, I do hope that you do not think that I want to do anything to your kids or bring them harm. I don’t even hurt flies, and as a matter of fact, if I see a fly on the ice, I pick it up and put it outside the boards. Suffice it to say, I love kids, I would never do anything to intentionally harm them either physically or emotionally. I hope you can trust my words in me saying that, as I am the kind of person to step in at a moments notice to help those in trouble, or in need, be it a friend or stranger. I’m also a person who stands by what I say, while lying for some is common or even tolerable, it is something that I am definitely not well with.

In all my experiences I have found kids to be very perceptive, and much more open minded and accepting, I have never found anyone that was threatened by me, but more so it being the parents of some kids who do not understand me when any problems have arisen. With some parents who care to listen to my words, I have been able to explain who I am, and most are very satisfied with my explanations. I will admit however, that I have come across some that do not care to understand, or listen to the words I have to say. One can always lead a horse to water, but to get it to drink is another task in of itself.

And now to the meat and potatoes before I start running over my self imposed one page limit! For the longest time I’ve enjoyed watching figure skating, the moves, footwork, jumps, spins, and what not, of course, if it’s not already obvious, I also have a fascination with the clothing. Unfortunately I find most mens clothing rather plain and overly bland while ladies express themselves through an endless number of choices including mens styles. As such, I’ve felt there is no reason to restrict myself as to what society says I can and cannot wear. For one, it’s just clothing, something that covers my skin, men never used to wear pants, same with women. Women nowadays however enjoy the freedom to wear pants and not be ridiculed or discriminated against for doing so. Secondly, men who wear styles that are typically worm by females are thought of as deviants and other such things. I am male in both my sex and gender, my orientation is also hetro, even though most people assume male figure skaters are gay. I am who I am, not what others may think or assume I am. Just as a women wearing pants is still a women, I am still a man no matter what gender of clothing I am wearing. Thirdly, I am a human, and normal.

I’ve kept this short and to the point, and I hope to have provided some insight as to who and what I am, and what I am not. If you still wish to not get to know me for who I am on the inside based on my clothing on the outside, that’s fine, it’s fortunate that I do not discriminate in such a manor, nor am I a bigot. On the other hand, if you do wish to have a chat, chat away, I won’t bite, (well, maybe a little if you taste like chicken) I promise!

Steven