I’ll tell you ho I am, I’m Steven Arness, yeah, that Steven Arness, and spell it right, with a “v” and an “n” and the last name is Arness, A r n e s s, the same bloody name my dad feared I would drag through the mud one day for wearing something other then shirts and trousers.
I perpetuate everyone’s cause and fight and don’t think any ones strive for mens alternative clothing is an better or less then another persons fight. My fight involves getting people to accept me for who I am and what I do, but I also fight for others who wish to wear a kilt or skirt when they are about. I wear what I like because that is what I like to wear, I’m not wearing it to gain any kind of recognition or to incite a confrontation. Nor do I ridicule or demean others in their actions in how they want their choice of attire accepted. They have their way, I have mine, and if you think I’m blindly plodding along the wrong path, then so be it, it is my choice and my path!
I attended the MSM march and wore what I liked, I asked Tom if it would be ok for me to come as I did, it was his event and I respected him and his choice of who could participate. We’ve gone over this many times and have had much heated debates already about MY choice of attire. Tom had no problems in letting me express MY choice of attire. Granted, I generally do not wear my skating outfits outside of the rink, they are “skating” outfits after all, but I have no problem going out and about if needed before or after I skate.
Sure, I thought I may get some attention and I could get MY views of acceptable attire out there, but nobody really cared, even the remarks I made never made it to print, even the ones I made about men wearing kilts! I’ve been doing this for years now and continue to seek out others and create dialogues among others and get the word out. I’ve been doing this for far longer then I’ve been involved in online mailing lists or chat groups.
Unrelated to the MSM March, I did finally get a write up in the paper, and this did make a big hit on others and what they thought of it. I answered back every positive and negative remark, I provided insight and thoughtful discussion, I made a difference. I pushed for women to be able to wear trousers when skating, they now enjoy that option. I made that difference. I skated my MIF test in a skirt, even though men supposedly are not allowed, I made a difference.
I have also tried to push alternative clothing for men on the media, I have hundreds of emails and recipients I have sent information to and nobody has ever sent a response back. But I continually strive to make the plight of a man who wishes to wear something other then trousers and still be a man fact and not fiction. Yet all we continually see on TV is men who want to become women, there’s plenty of shows about this and plenty of talk shows that make a mockery of the whole thing. Heck, there’s even a reality TV show about it now, “He’s a lady” All these shows depict men into being something I don’t think they want. There are plenty of men who are just now accepting that they can stay at home and watch the kids, cook dinner, and clean the house while the wife brings in the money. This was an absolute absurdity just a short time ago.
So why doesn’t the media care about a man wearing a kilt or skirt? Because it’s NO BIG DEAL, the only time it is, is if he’s trying to be a women at the same time, or if he’s drunk. How many men must suffer the wrath of being called child molesters or sexual perverts because they wear a skirt even though no statistics support such accusations? When is the last time you wrote a letter to the media complaining about the way a boy wearing a skirt was treated? I don’t search for such items, fortunately someone else points them out for me, and then I write a letter if needed to support or discredit what was written.
Sure for some men to wear such clothing it is a sexual thing, why shouldn’t it be? They are denied it, so they lust it instead. And almost everyone of course around them tells them that it is wrong, that they should not have such feelings over a piece of clothing. I didn’t know anything about sex when I first started wearing, I tried it, I liked it, I didn’t go too much further after my dad blew his top, but it didn’t stop me. I never thought of the clothing as sexual thing, or that I wanted to be a female, I liked the fit, I liked the style, and I liked the flow, I liked it so I wore it. I didn’t have a sexual lust over it, nor did I think of myself as being girly or wanting to be a female. I deal already with the countless other people, including my mom, who thinks I should just go all the way to keep people from getting all antsy. But that is not me, to do such a thing would be a lie, and one thing I cannot stand is lying, that is why I am who I am, and that is why I do what I do.
Have you ever thought of it as that it is wrong because we make it wrong? Why is it wrong that someone doesn’t stop at a stop light? Why they might injure themselves or others if they do so. Why is it wrong to consider a women wearing pants a deviant? Because a long time ago, Amelia Jenks Bloomer (1818-1894) stood up and fought for the right to wear them, and she even had a permission slip from the mayor saying that the could! Why is it wrong for a male to wear a skirt? Because a long time ago males lost the choice in having that choice. If males had not lost that choice we would not be sitting here arguing about what type of clothing a man should and shouldn’t be allowed to wear. We also wouldn’t be thinking of all the sexual connotation of it because it wouldn’t have any. And most assuredly if a man was skating, he most likely would be wearing a shirt skirt also.
It’s not wrong because it is, it’s wrong because people think it’s wrong. Everyone of us is different, we all have different ideals of what we, and others, should, and shouldn’t be.
I am not only active in trying to gain support for what I want to wear, but also the freedom of what any other man chooses to wear. I put myself in the front line of it every time I choose to, I make it plain and clear of who and what I am, I do it and I am not ashamed of doing it.
Go ahead, tell me what I’m doing and striving for is wrong, it’s not going to help as it will only have me seek my goal that much faster as I’ve only just begun to fight.
I’m Steven Arness, yeah, that Steven Arness, and spell it right, with a “v” and an “n” and the last name is Arness, A r n e s s, the same bloody name my dad feared I would drag through the mud one day for wearing something other then shirts and trousers.
I perpetuate everyone’s cause and fight and don’t think any ones strive for mens alternative clothing is an better or less then another persons fight. My fight involves getting people to accept me for who I am and what I do, but I also fight for others who wish to wear a kilt or skirt when they are about. I wear what I like because that is what I like to wear, I’m not wearing it to gain any kind of recognition or to incite a confrontation. Nor do I ridicule or demean others in their actions in how they want their choice of attire accepted. They have their way, I have mine, and if you think I’m blindly plodding along the wrong path, then so be it, it is my choice and my path!
I attended the MSM march and wore what I liked, I asked Tom if it would be ok for me to come as I did, it was his event and I respected him and his choice of who could participate. We’ve gone over this many times and have had much heated debates already about MY choice of attire. Tom had no problems in letting me express MY choice of attire. Granted, I generally do not wear my skating outfits outside of the rink, they are “skating” outfits after all, but I have no problem going out and about if needed before or after I skate.
Sure, I thought I may get some attention and I could get MY views of acceptable attire out there, but nobody really cared, even the remarks I made never made it to print, even the ones I made about men wearing kilts! I’ve been doing this for years now and continue to seek out others and create dialogues among others and get the word out. I’ve been doing this for far longer then I’ve been involved in online mailing lists or chat groups.
Unrelated to the MSM March, I did finally get a write up in the paper, and this did make a big hit on others and what they thought of it. I answered back every positive and negative remark, I provided insight and thoughtful discussion, I made a difference. I pushed for women to be able to wear trousers when skating, they now enjoy that option. I made that difference. I skated my MIF test in a skirt, even though men supposedly are not allowed, I made a difference.
I have also tried to push alternative clothing for men on the media, I have hundreds of emails and recipients I have sent information to and nobody has ever sent a response back. But I continually strive to make the plight of a man who wishes to wear something other then trousers and still be a man fact and not fiction. Yet all we continually see on TV is men who want to become women, there’s plenty of shows about this and plenty of talk shows that make a mockery of the whole thing. Heck, there’s even a reality TV show about it now, “He’s a lady” All these shows depict men into being something I don’t think they want. There are plenty of men who are just now accepting that they can stay at home and watch the kids, cook dinner, and clean the house while the wife brings in the money. This was an absolute absurdity just a short time ago.
So why doesn’t the media care about a man wearing a kilt or skirt? Because it’s NO BIG DEAL, the only time it is, is if he’s trying to be a women at the same time, or if he’s drunk. How many men must suffer the wrath of being called child molesters or sexual perverts because they wear a skirt even though no statistics support such accusations? When is the last time you wrote a letter to the media complaining about the way a boy wearing a skirt was treated? I don’t search for such items, fortunately someone else points them out for me, and then I write a letter if needed to support or discredit what was written.
Sure for some men to wear such clothing it is a sexual thing, why shouldn’t it be? They are denied it, so they lust it instead. And almost everyone of course around them tells them that it is wrong, that they should not have such feelings over a piece of clothing. I didn’t know anything about sex when I first started wearing, I tried it, I liked it, I didn’t go too much further after my dad blew his top, but it didn’t stop me. I never thought of the clothing as sexual thing, or that I wanted to be a female, I liked the fit, I liked the style, and I liked the flow, I liked it so I wore it. I didn’t have a sexual lust over it, nor did I think of myself as being girly or wanting to be a female. I deal already with the countless other people, including my mom, who thinks I should just go all the way to keep people from getting all antsy. But that is not me, to do such a thing would be a lie, and one thing I cannot stand is lying, that is why I am who I am, and that is why I do what I do.
Have you ever thought of it as that it is wrong because we make it wrong? Why is it wrong that someone doesn’t stop at a stop light? Why they might injure themselves or others if they do so. Why is it wrong to consider a women wearing pants a deviant? Because a long time ago, Amelia Jenks Bloomer (1818-1894) stood up and fought for the right to wear them, and she even had a permission slip from the mayor saying that the could! Why is it wrong for a male to wear a skirt? Because a long time ago males lost the choice in having that choice. If males had not lost that choice we would not be sitting here arguing about what type of clothing a man should and shouldn’t be allowed to wear. We also wouldn’t be thinking of all the sexual connotation of it because it wouldn’t have any. And most assuredly if a man was skating, he most likely would be wearing a shirt skirt also.
It’s not wrong because it is, it’s wrong because people think it’s wrong. Everyone of us is different, we all have different ideals of what we, and others, should, and shouldn’t be.
I am not only active in trying to gain support for what I want to wear, but also the freedom of what any other man chooses to wear. I put myself in the front line of it every time I choose to, I make it plain and clear of who and what I am, I do it and I am not ashamed of doing it.
Go ahead, tell me what I’m doing and striving for is wrong, it’s not going to help as it will only have me seek my goal that much faster as I’ve only just begun to fight.
When I was skating at my winter rink during the morning sessions there were several other skaters either practicing or taking lessons. One lady who’s daughter was there skating, of which I tried to have small talk with, was on the shy side of responding. I didn’t push it or anything like that, and I can’t even recall what I was commenting on.
Then one day her mom suggested that I attend their church, for what, I do not exactly recall.
Anyways, I attended and sat behind them with the preacher talking about how he was happy about the congregation accepting him as their preacher even though he didn’t always wear the traditional attire. He talked about some other things and about casting stones when in a glass house.
At the end of all this, she turned around and gave me a hug and apologized for her thoughts and actions.
I thought wow, OK, we are doing good now and talking won’t be so awkward.
Unfortunately back at the rink, things didn’t change, I still couldn’t chit chat with them or have any kind of meaningful conversations. I wrote several letters, but it didn’t seem to matter for any kind of progress.
I’m an open person, and I’m certainly willing to listen to others and what they have to say, but I am also my own person.
It makes me wonder too if she spoke with the preacher before the services to see if they could say something related to my clothing choices. If she did, then I would say it did not work in her favor and the preacher was on point in their words.
So I’m doing my warmups, and then probably a good 10-15 minutes doing back crossovers each direction as well as figure 8’s.
I think I did a lap or two to cool down then went to work on spins (still my nemesis!) Anyways, I attempted a spin and when I stopped, I suddenly felt my butt get cold. I looked around and was like ?!?!? I ran my hand around and such but nothing was obvious. So I tried another spin and I felt my butt get cold again! And was like, what the heck?! I did another spin, and it happened again! This time I took my gloves off checked my skirt and butt (discreetly of course!) I found that I was a bit warm and maybe a tad damp from sweat (velvet material).
What I then figured out is that when I was just standing, my skirt was resting on my butt and getting warmed. When I did my spins, it was being cooled off by the air. And then when I stopped, it fell back down on my butt and the coolness was very noticeable!
What’s more funny is that I posted about my experience on a skating forum I was on and someone commented on me of being perverted talking about such things, especially being a man wearing a dress.
All I could think of was, I just experienced something you never will, and it was hilarious!
For those who may not know me, I’m the guy who skates in a skirt, yes, that guy, if you haven’t seen me, I’ve been told I have great legs. I hope in this rather brief (for me anyways) letter to provide some insight as to who I am, and to settle some of the gossip and fears that ye may have.
Well, lets see, I’m a guy who wears skirts and dresses, (pants and shirts too, but there so ho hum), but I don’t care to pass, or go through all the things I would need to do to pass as a female just because I’m wearing an article of clothing that society considers “for females only” To go through all that for me would be a lie, lying is something that I just can’t do with reckless abandon, and just tears me up. I also don’t see any reason that I should look female if I want to wear a skirt or dress, (although my mom thinks I should get a wig so I fit in). Martin Luther King Jr did not tell black people to wear makeup so that they would be accepted into society more readily. It’s also been funny to come across men who won’t do some moves because they are too “feminine” Their reason being that they are a man, and macho men don’t do such moves.
As someone recently reminded me, sex is ones physical attributes, and that gender is between the ears, Although not DNA tested, I’m pretty sure I’m male in the physical department, as for between my ears, that’s a good question. If you go with what society would say I am, it would be female, I don’t express many of the typical male traits. I’m not much into sports, I don’t chase women, I don’t make vulgar comments about how someone looks, and I try not to inflict myself onto others. Among however many other typical male traits are out there, I really don’t fit into many of those. Yet since I look male, that is how I am perceived and treated.
As for female traits, I don’t know, what I would really ask is, other then someone’s sex, what makes one person male, and another female? Does a female who holds the door open for someone a male? Is a man who sews a female? Or is a women with short hair more macho then a man with long hair? I’m in serious trouble if men aren’t supposed to cry, so don’t tell anyone, ok? I could go on and on with examples, but other then ones sex, what is the difference between a male and female? Why does society say that the manners or clothing that someone exhibits places them in a different gender then their sex?
It is estimated that about 10% of the male population crossdresses, that is, they wear female clothing use makeup, wigs, falsies, etc… And try to pass as the opposite sex (while over 50% have worn, or do wear female attire). While everyone likes to label me as a crossdresser, I’m sure by now that it is quite obvious that I do not try to pass as a women. I do not consider women who wear pants crossdressing, (unless they have flattened their chest and added a bulge.) So neither do I consider myself a crossdresser. While on the subject of statistics, there are very few gays who crossdress, which coincidently corresponds to the high number of men who crossdress and are heterosexual. Also keeping with this, there is no correlation as to the fact that just because someone crossdresses, there automatically a rapist, murderer, or child molester.
Having said that, I have now dug myself into a hole, since I could arguably hide behind the statistics of being a crossdresser. But that is not who I am, and neither am I any of the other things. (Gay, child molester, murderer, rapist, you can ask or check my record if you want)
I’ve had people argue about it both ways with me, one group saying that I’m looking for trouble and hurt with what I’m doing. And the other more interesting group saying, “Your still you, so what?” Of course I’m also stuck between the crossdressers who are inflamed that I dress like a women, but refuse to look or act like one. Saying that I am doing a disservice to all genetic and TV, TG, TS, and CD’s out there with my appearance. And on the other end I have to deal with the straights who want no part in dealing with a guy wearing a dress, who is most obviously a guy, no if’s and’s or but’s about it.
I don’t see any reason to change who I am relative to what I’m wearing, I will hold the door for anyone, boy/girl, man/women, CD/TV/TG/TS, black/white, or a purple and green polka dotted alien, or just about anything else that’s going through the door. I try to be considerate of others and not impose myself or opinions onto them. Unfortunately most people have no clue in how to act civilized, or to be considerate of others, and chose instead to impose there opinions and actions onto others. Common sense, courtesy, and manners need to be re-ingrained into some peoples heads. Someone’s actions and manners decide for me, not their appearance.
Now saying all that, I will say that I have run across some folks who don’t seem to care one bit in what I’m wearing, and talk to me just like any other human being. (Me, a human? How about that!)
I deal with a great number of people on this, and It’s funny on how some people comment and fuss over all the things associated with dressing. I’m annoyed by people asking women as to what clothing they wear and what stuff they do with it that gets them “hot” People like that do not understand that for most people, clothing is just clothing. There’s nothing to it, and is as common and ordinary as eating and sleeping, sometimes trying to educate the narrow minded is a bottomless pit, and I wonder why I waste my time.
I also find it distressing to come across people who think the only way to wear a skirt or dress is that they have to look female in thinking they have to do this to fit into society. Do women who wear pants have to drink beer, belch, make vulgar comments, watch football, etc…? How about a women who wears mens clothing? Does she have to look like a man to do so? Men used to wear wigs, makeup, tunics, tights, etc… For some reason through the ages, men have lost the ability to wear something other then shirts, pants or something fancy without being unduly labeled as weird. I ponder if ladies would be competing in pants today if Sonja Henie hadn’t been daring enough to wear something different. FYI, the leotard was originally invented by a man for men.
My choice in clothing is as much akin as to someone’s taste in music, I like Bach, Tchaikovsky, Mozart, and other classical composers. Others like jazz, polka, country, rap, and/or other various styles. And while I may dislike someone’s taste in music, what one likes is purely their choice, if I don’t like it, that’s my opinion. And unless someone asks for it, it’s irrelevant.
I hope this short letter has given you some insights as to who I am, and hopefully given some answers for those of you who are uncomfortable in asking me in person. If you do have other questions/concerns however, please do not hesitate to ask, I promise I won’t bite. The hardest question for me to answer is the one not asked, and I’d rather you ask me then assume.
The Pain Dealer, A Slippery Slope Sunday, May 16, 2004 Susan Vinella
Steven Arness laced up his skates, slipped on his gloves and started toward the frozen oval at Kent State University’s ice arena. Before his blades touched the ice, the whispers began. People stared. Some frowned. Others giggled.
What, they all wondered, is with this guy wearing a dress?
The 34-year-old Arness says it’s not what some people think. He has no agenda, no deep-rooted desire to express a feminine side and absolutely no intention to prey on children. The self-employed computer cable installer and summertime Go Kart park manager simply likes to glide across the ice in women’s skating dresses.
“I like the flow,” Arness says. “I’m attracted to the movement. I’m fascinated with the styles ladies get to wear.”
Some in the Greater Cleveland skating community are less than fascinated with Arness. They find him disruptive, weird and even a little scary. His unorthodox attire has prompted discussion about whether rinks can impose dress codes for public skating sessions.
Others have skipped the discussion and gone straight to outrage.
One recent Tuesday evening, parents complained to management at Brooklyn’s rink when a photographer showed up to take pictures of Arness skating in a dress and tights during a public session. Some called Arness a “faggot” and “pervert” and used profanity and obscene finger gestures toward both the photographer and Arness.
Several parents pulled their children off the ice, demanded a refund and left.
“They didn’t want their little kids photographed with a guy wearing a skirt,” says Al Sforzo, recreation commissioner for the city of Brooklyn.
After the incident, Sforzo spoke to the city’s law director, who told him the rink had no legal right to ban Arness from skating in dresses. “We don’t like it, but there’s nothing we can do,” Sforzo says. “We don’t like it because it doesn’t seem appropriate. But he has the right to dress how he wants.”
Last year, when Arness first showed up in Brooklyn, Sforzo called several other local rinks to find out if they had a dress code, or planned to create one, for skaters who attend public sessions. No one did, he says, and no one wants to initiate one for fear of a discrimination lawsuit.
Rinks can mandate skating attire during public sessions only to enforce safety, says Sforzo.
Skating clubs have more leeway. Because they buy ice time for their skaters to use during private sessions, they essentially “own” the ice during that time and have the right to impose dress codes for any reason. Men must wear pants.
So that he can wear his dresses and pay less for ice time, Arness skates during public sessions. He has about 100 skating outfits which are basically leotards with skirts but wears only 20 of his favorites, mostly in shades of blue.
He doesn’t understand clothing restrictions that clubs impose on men.
“Ladies can wear pants or skirts,” he says. “Men can wear pants only. I find that discriminating.”
Still, as a member of the Kent Skating Club, he refuses to be ignored. He insisted his photo in which he is wearing pants over his dress be displayed on the bulletin board with the rest of the club members, most of them girls. He is the only adult pictured.
He has filed two grievances with the club; one complaining about being discriminated against because he’s an adult, another complaining about “unprofessional” behavior from one of the coaches there. He says several skaters stopped talking to him after their coach told them to stay away from him.
“Whatever her opinion is, she should not be using her professional status to influence her students like that,” says Arness, who took up skating three years ago.
He says he plans to take his complaints to U.S. Figure Skating, the sport’s national governing body, if they are not resolved to his satisfaction.
Kent Skating Club president Lanna Omlor calls Arness a “nice” guy but otherwise declines to discuss him.
Arness says he is not out to make trouble. He just wants to be welcomed for who he is.
Though he describes himself as “weird,” he says his penchant for skating in dresses has no hidden meaning or malicious intent. He doesn’t believe he’s a woman in a man’s body, which is a typical belief of cross-dressers. (He says he was asked to leave a local cross-dressing group because he’s comfortable with his gender. )
Off the ice, he wears pants and dates women. He says he wants to marry someday, although girlfriends often flee when they learn about his dresses. “Talk about a sonic boom,” he says.
Friend and former coach Chandra Morgan-Henley of Cleveland says there is no need to fear Arness. “I think there are too many adults who worry that because he’s different he’s a threat. Once you get to know Steven, you realize his clothing quirks are only clothing quirks.”
Others don’t accept that.
Arness says several mothers whose children skate with him during afternoon sessions at Kent are morally opposed to him and worry that he might harm their children. He found their opposition so hurtful at first, he stopped skating for a month.
One woman, who was reading the Bible while her 15-year-old daughter skated, acknowledged that she has instructed Arness not to talk to her daughter. She declined to give her name and says she and Arness have agreed not to speak.
Coaches, too, can find it difficult to be associated with Arness.
Leslie Shackelford-Rinicella, a longtime coach with one of the highest certifications in skating, says she’s seen a lot in her 20-year career, but Arness’ situation “definitely took the cake.”
“I took a lot of flak” for coaching him, Shackelford-Rinicella says. “A lot of coaches in the area said: Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you want to keep getting beat up?'”
Shackelford-Rinicella says she wanted to help Arness because “he has a very good heart.”
At the same time, she wanted him to understand that “you can’t change 100 years of tradition.”
“I don’t think the ice rink is the place to stand on his pedestal,” she says.
Shackelford-Rinicella took a full-time job in December at a local fitness club and Arness has been searching for a replacement coach ever since. In the meantime, he attends adult learn-to-skate classes and practices on his own during public sessions.
If he can find a coach, he hopes to begin competing soon. But there are dress codes for competition, too. If he enters adult “freestyle” competitions freestyle is the type of skating seen in the Olympics he will receive an automatic deduction if he wears a skirt, according to U.S. Figure Skating rules. Interpretative competitions, however, permit skaters to wear costumes, so a skirt might be OK.
Some don’t care what Arness wears on the ice.
Marie Sorkin of Ravenna was impressed when she spotted Arness skating across the Kent rink in a navy velour skating dress, tan tights and white skates during a recent outing with her son-in-law and five grandchildren.
“The first thing I said to my son-in-law was, I can’t tell what gender that person is, but what great legs,'” Sorkin says.
When Arness skated closer and she realized he was a man, she shrugged it off.
“You go to public places, what’s out there is out there.”
Susan Vinella is a Plain Dealer sportswriter who covers figure skating. She used to wear leotards when she competed in gymnastics, but no skirts. She may be reached at 216-999-5010 or through magmail@plaind.com.
Flying in wasn’t too bad, did hit a few bumps in the air and we arrived early but ended up waiting anyways to get into the gate, luggage made it through relatively unscaved, at least it didn’t get lost!
Thursday was relatively quite, I just went and bought some fast food before turning in for the night. Friday morning turned out to be cold and rainy day but I made it over to the the Today Show before 7am wearing my favorite blue outfit. I did get whistled at on my walk over by someone on the other side of the street, but I just kept walking along, hehe. Was only a couple other people who made it to the Today Show, but we sorta lost out getting any coverage because of them finding that murdered girl, and standing on the wrong side. Someone from the show did come out and take pictures of everyone in line of which I picked up after the show was over at 10am (and I needed to get warm!) I did some walking around the NBC store and then walked back to the hotel for a HOT bath as I was thoroughly chilled.
I changed into my black glitter dot slinky dress and headed over to Applebees for lunch (yeah I know, I’m all the way in New York and I choose Applebees) after which I headed down to the fabric district to look for some fabric, one lady commented on my outfit, she really liked it. And talk about fabric, yowza, rolls and rolls of fabric, all kinds of colors, patterns and what not, talk about overkill! On the walk back to the hotel some guy walking past me asked where my necklace was at. I played dumb but I’m assuming he was talking about a gay pride necklace. Maybe it was my purse that offended him, but I thought it was silly since he was carrying a purse like object under his arms, ignorant people are like that I guess. I went afterwards to dinner and before leaving the owner said she liked my outfit, I talked with her for a good ten minutes about what it was all about and what I was in town for, great chat overall.
Saturday was better weather (Yippie!) I dressed again in my favorite blue outfit, I could have been more subtle, but I said, what the heck? Fifteen minute walk to the bus stop, (I could have taken another bus or subway, but I was going to be early as it was) There was a good group of people already at the Guggenheim Museum when I arrived and was great to meet a lot of the people I knew online in person. The march was fantastic, it really made me proud to be in there fighting for fashion freedom, fact is, I even had a tear in my eye thinking about it. Down at the Met it was pretty cool having everyone there just chatting away, the exhibit was ok I guess, I think it lacked in some things, but other things were good and in depth. After the tour I headed back to the hotel to freshen up and out to get something to eat before meeting up again at Union Square. Oh what a mess that was! Subway ride down was fine, but then the other train to get over there was broke down so I hoofed part of it and bussed the rest, but I wasn’t too late I guess and overall that was a good place to be talking to others about who and what we are. I must have had at least five ladies comment on my legs, and three more that wanted them that day, sorry ladies, I’m still using them! I made it back to my hotel in time to pick up my skate bag and head over to Rockefeller Center and get in a 1/2 hour of skating before dinner. Rockefeller was ok, ice was torn up a lot already and there must have been a good 50+ people on the ice. Price isn’t too bad, $11 for about 3 hours of ice, but definitely a tourist attraction as rental skates cost $6! I had a little girl come up and say that her friend asked her to ask me if I was gay (oh yeah, standard question, lol) I asked her if she was gay for wearing pants, she said no. She then asked if I was married of which I told her I wasn’t and that she was a bit young for me, hehe. But overall I was able to have a bit of fun, did get a couple jumps in and even some spins, fell down doing my 1/2 lutz however, but nothing serious. Had some great chats however, and not all about my clothing either!
After skating I headed over to the bus stop to get to the restaurant, talk about a packed house! I changed into my more fancy blue outfit, even though it wasn’t a fancy dinner meeting, but again, what the heck? Talking to everyone again was great, being able to just sit, listen in and chat was great fun. The speakers were great also, I know people were hoping it wouldn’t be too dry! I know I had a couple claps in my speech, and boy did I make a mess with some of it, teach me for not writing everything out! What was a hoot was that I won a kilt in the raffle drawing, boy did that make a lot of people happy! Afterwards I went back to the hotel only to find I missed the 11pm news in which we supposedly did get some coverage on.
Sunday was another horrid day, 20 degrees out and 30mph winds or more! (Alas I wore pants this day) I didn’t make it far anywhere that day, but did walk through times square, (it’s not really square! LOL) and took the subway to the World Trade Center site, very humble experience. I tried to find a place to eat before leaving the hotel to no avail, just not that many places open early in the morning, so I ended up going back to the hotel and checking out. I did find a place on the way to get something to eat before heading to the airport. Departure went along just fine, no hangups or anything, and again we arrived early to the gate but ended up waiting for the luggage to arrive!
All in all it was a great trip, course the press did a mess of a job reporting it, anyone who saw the headline of 100 men in New York wanting to wear a skirt, that was us, as for the one in the tutu, well, that was me, even though it wasn’t a tutu! But boy did the media make a mess of it, don’t think they bothered to do much research before sending it off. Guess there is always next time, and next time we’ll just have to make sure they do a better job!
It has come to my attention that there are those of you in the Kent Skating Club that have some concerns over who I am. I write this very brief letter, (and yes, one page is brief for me, ask anyone who really knows me!) in a hope for you to understand me better, and more so in that such concerns have not been brought to me directly by the individuals who express these concerns. I also write this to help clarify any misconceptions you may have about me, as many people assume the kind of person I am based on my outward appearance without actually getting to know me for who I am on the inside.
From what I gather, some of you are concerned for your kids, I do hope that you do not think that I want to do anything to your kids or bring them harm. I don’t even hurt flies, and as a matter of fact, if I see a fly on the ice, I pick it up and put it outside the boards. Suffice it to say, I love kids, I would never do anything to intentionally harm them either physically or emotionally. I hope you can trust my words in me saying that, as I am the kind of person to step in at a moments notice to help those in trouble, or in need, be it a friend or stranger. I’m also a person who stands by what I say, while lying for some is common or even tolerable, it is something that I am definitely not well with.
In all my experiences I have found kids to be very perceptive, and much more open minded and accepting, I have never found anyone that was threatened by me, but more so it being the parents of some kids who do not understand me when any problems have arisen. With some parents who care to listen to my words, I have been able to explain who I am, and most are very satisfied with my explanations. I will admit however, that I have come across some that do not care to understand, or listen to the words I have to say. One can always lead a horse to water, but to get it to drink is another task in of itself.
And now to the meat and potatoes before I start running over my self imposed one page limit! For the longest time I’ve enjoyed watching figure skating, the moves, footwork, jumps, spins, and what not, of course, if it’s not already obvious, I also have a fascination with the clothing. Unfortunately I find most mens clothing rather plain and overly bland while ladies express themselves through an endless number of choices including mens styles. As such, I’ve felt there is no reason to restrict myself as to what society says I can and cannot wear. For one, it’s just clothing, something that covers my skin, men never used to wear pants, same with women. Women nowadays however enjoy the freedom to wear pants and not be ridiculed or discriminated against for doing so. Secondly, men who wear styles that are typically worm by females are thought of as deviants and other such things. I am male in both my sex and gender, my orientation is also hetro, even though most people assume male figure skaters are gay. I am who I am, not what others may think or assume I am. Just as a women wearing pants is still a women, I am still a man no matter what gender of clothing I am wearing. Thirdly, I am a human, and normal.
I’ve kept this short and to the point, and I hope to have provided some insight as to who and what I am, and what I am not. If you still wish to not get to know me for who I am on the inside based on my clothing on the outside, that’s fine, it’s fortunate that I do not discriminate in such a manor, nor am I a bigot. On the other hand, if you do wish to have a chat, chat away, I won’t bite, (well, maybe a little if you taste like chicken) I promise!
Was a most interesting yet perplexing day, I went to the noon session of skating, wearing one of my skate dresses. Ladies seem to enjoy the freedom of wearing a dress or pants without any odd looks, I didn’t really get any odd looks, just the typical avoidance. I said my usual good mornings and hi’s. The frigid straight ahead looks and un-emotional responses from some is nothing new, I wasn’t expected anything more or less, just being polite.
I stretched out for a while, something I need to work on more, as I’ve pulled my calf, thigh, and back muscles so far. A good stretch I’ve found is essential to do beforehand to avoid this. Public session opened up and I started skating my warmup laps, and out of the blue a lady starts chatting with me. I don’t have a photographic memory, so I will just highlight the points I remember.
One comment was that nobody really talked to me, after all, I was a guy in a dress, and most assuredly I must be some kind of weirdo. I tried to explain to her that my clothing was just that, clothing, while not normal for a man to wear, it was something that I liked.. I tried to explain that men have a pathetic choice when it comes to clothing, a book of one-thousand pages of skate wear would have nine-hundred and ninety-eight pages of skate dresses, one page of mens wear, and one page for ordering. To this she agreed that ladies have much more choices in that area, but she insisted that I could at least wear skate pants. As I mentioned I hated skating in jeans for there lack of freedom. I jokingly replied that I’ve been told I have great legs, and why not show them? But alas pants are what I should be wearing, and not tights, even though men used to wear tights/leggings when skating in the past.
I commented on my fascination of the skirt, while one may wear pants and a shirt, there’s really nothing to it, and of course for my taste, most bland. The skirt on the other hand is something most interesting, technically it serves no purpose, I don’t care for their excuse that it is for modesty. If they wanted modesty, they’d make everyone wear unitards, or shirts and pants. But, given all the variations of skirts out there, it adds a most interesting element to an outfit. I myself am amazed out how such a simple piece of fabric effects the whole look of something.
Another comment was that some people are born with physical attributes, and as such have no control in how they are perceived by others, while my clothing choice is something that can be chosen. I won’t argue with that, and I will admit that there are some people I see with physical attributes that make them stand out from the “norm” But I feel she was saying they had no choice in the matter, while I on the other hand do have a choice in what I choose to wear. And that I chose to wear such clothing as to draw attention to myself. Like many of the current females out there with barely any clothing on as to attract attention. Again, I tried to tell her that the clothing was just clothing, someone wearing a skate dress does not necessarily draw attention, (although some do), but since I was a guy wearing it, I drew all kind of attention. Another lady found it most interesting that I was a guy wearing a dress, yet she was a girl and refused to wear one. She’s been skating for may years, and would compete and such, but the rules state that she must wear a skirt. To that effect she continues to skate for her own enjoyment. While the rules say that a man must wear trousers, it does not prohibit one from wearing skirt, ladies must have skirts and “pants” covering the hips and posterior. Now if that isn’t a biased and sexist rule, I don’t know what is.
In 1983, Scott Hamilton decided that he’d had enough of flamboyant, glittery costumes and adopted a plain, one-piece outfit similar to the suits worn by speed skaters. “No way did I want to want my potential Olympic moment to be marred by a costume that I would be embarrassed to look at 10 years down the road,” he wrote in his autobiography. Not only did dressing like a serious athlete reflect his own attitude toward his skating, but he thought it might “get cynics to start taking figure skating seriously as a sport.”
While some men think they are repressed in there clothing choices, it seems that some women are just as repressed.
Even after my lengthy discussion with the first lady, I fear she does not fully understand my choice in clothing, and hence will fall back to assumptions rather then asking me.
Since few people have asked me, and many others have assumed I am something I am not, and since my mother says I’m a good writer, I write this in hoping that I can make some understand who I am.
And while I try not to assume to think what you or others may think, it’s a fair bet that most people have assumed incorrectly of who I am just based on the clothing I choose to wear. I also dare say that some have most likely never have met anyone like me, and I will fail to meet all preconceived notions of what the vast majority of society typically places on someone like me.
For the longest time I’ve enjoyed watching figure skating, the moves, footwork, jumps, spins, and what not, of course, if it’s not already obvious, I also have a fascination with the clothing. Unfortunately I find most mens clothing rather plain and overly bland while ladies express themselves through an endless number of choices including mens styles. As such, I’ve felt there is no reason to restrict myself as to what society says I can and cannot wear. For one, it’s just clothing, something that covers my skin, men never used to wear pants, same with women. Women nowadays however enjoy the freedom to wear pants and not be ridiculed or discriminated against for doing so. In fact, ladies can be coached wearing pants, jeans, shorts, leggings, tights, skirts, leotards, and/or dresses, while every coach I’ve approached so far has said I must wear pants 100% of the time or they will not coach me. Secondly, men who wear styles that are typically worm by females are thought of as deviants and other such things. I am male in both my sex and gender, my orientation is also hetro, even though most people assume male figure skaters are gay. I am who I am, not what others may think or assume I am.
I am not fake in who I am, I do not disguise myself as a female just so that I can wear clothing that society labels for females only, nor am I using clothing to express femininity. Women do not flatten their chest and stick a sock down the front just so that they can wear pants. As such, even though my mom wanted me to wear a wig and try to pass so that I didn’t create chaos, I do not alter or change my appearance to fit the clothing. To do so would be a lie, and that’s one thing I am not good at, it’s just clothing that I like. And since some people have a problem with men wearing a skirt, but not with women wearing pants, I call mine a Kilt, technically a SkateKilt. Also, the base of many ladies skating outfits is a leotard, which was actually invented by a man for men to wear. And of course now I come to the term which is very biased and one sided, crossdressing, if you admit that women wearing pants, leotards and other male type clothing are corssdressers, I could possibly accept the term that I also am crossdressing. Be that as it may however, I do not accept that label, it does not fit who I am, and does a great disservice in representing what I really am, human.
I’ve kept this short and to the point, and I hope to have provided some insight as to who and what I am, and what I am not. If you still wish to not get to know me for who I am on the inside based on my clothing on the outside, that’s fine, it’s fortunate that I do not discriminate in such a manor, nor am I a bigot. On the other hand, if you do wish to have a chat, chat away, I won’t bite, I promise!
