Some replies in a skating forum I was on

by Steven Arness | Mar 5, 2003 | Thoughts

Well enough people are not used to it yet, today I was talking to a coach to see about getting some help with three turns. I really need to do something about going from forwards to backwards and back to forwards.

Anyway, in their policies they have a dress code, in as much as they want to keep a proper society type “Image” I will have to start wearing pants If I want to use their services.

Meanwhile three of the ladies being coached today wore leggings, it’s annoying that they have such a choice in clothing and styles they get to wear, meanwhile most men are stuck with black pants and white shirts, even ties at times. Even what I wore today was not technically acceptable since what I wore was leggings and not pants or trousers.

And as a matter of fact there is a lady there who gets coached while wearing pants and will never compete because of the rule saying she must wear a skirt. She has been skating for a while, and most assuredly is good enough to test and enter competitions yet cannot because of her refusal to wear a skirt.

Now I could care less for those of you who think otherwise on the ability of people being able to wear what they want to wear. I’m not saying that men should be going around wearing skirts and dresses just because women wear pants for just about anything they choose. And in fact is rather silly in this day and age that the USFSA makes such a requirement for women to have bare legs and a skirt for modesty. There’s more modesty in a pair of pants then in what they call skirts nowadays. Women used to wear long ful skirts as to hide there legs, since seeing such a part of a female was “taboo” Sonja Henie changed all that. Maybe someone will step up and compete wearing trousers one day, and we can get rid of this silly requirement.

And while a lady can express femininity with showing her legs, bare arms, and chest. Men are not allowed to show their legs, arms, or chest, even what makes men men must be hidden. Course some will argue that a man in a pair of crisp black pants and ruffly white shirt is masculine. But I dare ask, should clothing really depict that? Or should one be freer in the forms of expression and choice? I hardly see a man going outside the norm unless it’s in pairs, and even then I see more black pants and white shirts then I do in matching type outfits.

What I am saying is why can’t there be more leeway in what one can wear? I’m all for keeping the nudity part in, after all, we do still need modesty, (my personal opinion) Course if you took that part out you really could get some attention then. Now I know that figure skating is about artistic impression, in fact if you don’t make enough of an impression your score will go down. I just find it silly and annoying that clothing is so restricted, even Scott Hamilton was fed up with the type of outfits people were wearing. Realistically, unless your at a competition, and your doing a routine to show your artistic impression of something, does it really matter what you are wearing? Shouldn’t it be more about completing your elements, hitting your marks, and not falling down? If it was about the clothing, wouldn’t there be a separate set of marks for it, or more then a .1 deduction if they don’t think it appropriate?

Or I could be wrong on the whole thing, after all, it’s just my views and opinions.

I’m glad your more open to it, it took me over a month to convince people that underneath the clothing I’m still a guy, and pretty decent one at that. And most obviously not your ordinary typical male chauvinistic pig. Especially not like the ones who come on hockey skates that skate as fast as they can and then do a hockey stop into the wall to see how high they can make snow. Men who do figure skating is definitely a rarity, and I’m definitely more rare then most.

Who says you have to wear boobs to wear a skirt? Do you see women flattening their chest and sticking a sock down the front when they wear pants? How about Scottish men? Do they wear boobs with their skirt? No, they don’t.

Putting on a fire suit does not automatically make one a fireman, neither if you put on a policemen’s uniform make you a policeman. Clothing is something that covers ones skin, it does not change who you are on the inside. Just because a fireman is not in uniform does not stop him from being a fireman.

What’s the big deal about a skirt anyways? Men and women both used to wear tunics, there was no such thing as pants in the old days. many men in other countries wear sarongs as there much cooler to wear then pants. Women enjoy the freedom nowadays to wear a skirt or pants, unless there skating of course, then they must present themselves as tarts for the dogs to drool over.

And no, I don’t wear ladies figure skates, I wear mens, and they are black, of course women used to wear black skates too a long time ago, there was no such thing as color to tell which skates belonged to what gender. Many people have told me that black does not go will with suntan tights however. So more often now I wear black tights, albite a bit off I think if I wear a lighter colored outfit. Yet ladies can wear black or white skates, or even nude covers.

You can pray for me, pray that there are more tolerant people out there then your own bigoted views. I skate with a great group of people, they accept me for who I am, and not the clothing I am wearing.

Kilt/skirt what’s the difference? It’s still a garment that doesn’t separate the legs. You only associate it that way since male Scotts have been wearing kilts for eons, probably before even the skirt was named a skirt. There’s always seems to be one name for a female piece of clothing, and one for the male version, even if they look identical. Pants are the only thing I know of that retain the same name no matter what gender there made for, or which gender is wearing them.

Overalls, vs jumpsuit, dress shirt vs blouse, skirt vs kilt, panties vs briefs, etc etc

You associate gender to clothing, clothing has nothing to do with ones gender, I still look like a guy, talk like a guy, and still use my male name wether I’m in pants or a skirt. I’m not hiding anything.

Who says I’m gay? Obviously all the women wearing pants must be lesbians with this correlation, do you want me to call women lesbians for wearing pants? Since when does ones clothing dictate ones sexual orientation? Over 75% of the men who crossdress (of which I am not a crossdresser, unless you want to call women wearing pants crossdressers also) are heterosexual. Only about 1% of gay men crossdress (the other 14% are bisexual)

Bigot? Yes, I’m a bigot, I’m a bigot about people who are unaccepting of others and would rather inflict their own views and opinions onto them.

Yeah, I answered my own question, I was seeing what kind of people were in this group, like asking how’s the weather.

Your entitled to your opinion, I’m fine with that.

Robe/dress what’s the difference? If you hade a dress that buttoned from top to bottom, could it not be considered a robe if left unbuttoned?

If a man gets out of the shower and puts a robe on, is it still a robe? If a women gets out of the shower and puts a robe on, does it turn into a dress?

I think your forgetting the fact that pants are a modern invention, when this book your quoting from was written, there was no such thing as pants. Men and women essentially wore the same type of clothing. Go ahead, call the same garment two different names if that makes you happy, it’s still the same thing!

I haven’t been to Los Angeles, but from what I hear, it’s not uncommon to see men in skirts all the time over there. You discriminate against the clothing one is wearing, same as if you were judging them by their skin color. Skin color, clothing, fat, skinny, hair color, physical traits are just a shell for holding what someone is on the inside. That is what makes someone a person, none of this other stuff should matter, yet you use it to inflict your bigoted views. Society is changing, if I were you, I’d hide.

Oh, it may look like I only have one ore, but the other one is in storage, why row when you have a sail and a strong wind?

What a silly reply, I really don’t believe most of what you say, I’m glad you think it’s a joke, I don’t, I’m fighting for freedom and the end of oppression. Talking to you about this is like poring water into a colander, a waste of time and effort.

Go ahead and sleep, I’ll still be burning the midnight oil for what I believe in, I am me, not what others think I should be.

Oh what a tangled web I have woven!

I will agree that I did tell a lie to start the post, and I was seeing what peoples thoughts would be. Since I didn’t use another users name to start the conversation, I thought it would be better to come at it in a third persons point of view. Saying that I was a guy wearing a skirt off the bat most likely would have skewed the results, and we’d still be where we are now. I also believe in my post on the 4th with started all this, I said it was my views and opinions, and on my post on the 5th stating that KB was entitled to their opinion, and I was fine with that.

I agree with you thinking that I was looking for replies based on my post, I was asking opinions, and I made the mistake of not being forward about it, or fixing it afterwards. I’ve never been good at deceit, and this most obviously points out this fact. Quite honestly, I am very annoyed at myself for this mistake, I am sorry for what has transpired since my reply to Kari on the 4th. Thank you Nyssa for straightening me out in that fact. I’m sorry to you too KB, I do understand what your thoughts are, I’ve been down that road already, I’m sorry for being bullish in trying to make my point. As for the others who have posted, please accept my apologies, I will do my best to just by myself, and not lie.

Yes, it took me a while to express to people who I was, three weeks I think I said, since I didn’t give the background or details to what transpired, it sort of puts it out of context.

I had been sating at the rink a number of times, either in a skirt or leggings and leotard (which was invented by a man for men to wear by the way) One of the skating moms came out and skated with me and popped the question as to why I would wear such clothing. I won’t bother explaining what I said, we’ve already been down this road. When I was done talking to her I felt that she did not fully understand what I was saying, so I wrote a three page letter to her describing my thoughts, how I looked at, my views and opinions and such. She gave them back and gave me some of her thoughts. A week later I asked how her daughter did at competitions, she asked as to why I wanted to know. As pretty much of not being part of their group or socializing with them. I told her I was just curious as I know a number of people who went, and I know how they finished (three people received gold medals, which I was glad as they’ve worked so hard) This in turn brought up the whole skirt issue again, and why a man would wear such tight fitting clothing. Of which I now found out that she did not read any of the letters I had given her, so I sat and talked to her for at least half an hour going through it all. After this, she gave me the address of her church and what time they would be there. Since I wanted to understand her viewpoint, I went to her church. After services, she said she had to look me straight in the eye for what she was about to say. She said she was sorry for judging me based on the clothing I was wearing and that she was a bigot for doing so. To say the least I was floored, I did not expect this kind of reply from her.

Also at this rink there is a lady who has been skating for a number of years and is also taking private lessons to further her skills. And while I think she is pretty good, you will never see this lady at any tests. Nor will you see her competing at any competitions. Why you may ask? For the simple reason that for her to do any of this, she must abide by the rules of being forced to wear a skirt.

She claims the simple reason of modesty, and has tried various outfits to comply, but basically is barred from going further in the sport for the simple reason of not having the ability to wear trousers. Something which women have had the ability to do outside of skating and other sports for a great number of years. I’ve been told that the skirt is supposed to be for modesty, tell me what would be more modest then for this lady to wear something she is comfortable and feels more dignified in? How many other skaters out there don’t move onward due to this sexist rule?

Given the requirements of modesty, why do we continue to see pictures of a ladies behind, underwear, or views down the front of their dress? In fact I recall a picture once that you could see the waistband of the tights and their bellybutton. Is this modesty? If you want to keep the skirt why not go back to the long ankle length ones? If not, they why can’t skating modernize and let the athletes have the ability to express themselves in a more modern flair? I won’t argue with you an artistic impression, after all, most other sports that women are in is more about their ability, not how sexy they look. Figure skating is one of the few sports I know that ones attire is enforced and graded on, ones skating should be judged on their moves, and not their clothing.

You must understand that when I think that someone doesn’t understand, that I do my best to explain it in such a manner as to have it make sense. In this I tend to explain the same thing multiple times from different directions. Of course it may end up looking like harassment and that I’m forcing my opinion down ones throat by the time I’m done. I’m sorry if it’s come across this way, it is just my nature in trying to come to an understanding.

You must also understand that I place no gender on clothing, clothing is a piece of material that covers ones skin. A long time ago a women dared to wear pants, she faced the same ridicule I face now. And for that, women now enjoy the freedom of wearing everything from jeans to pantsuits. It’s so interesting that the ladies get such things as boycut shorts, yet men don’t have girlcut shorts. Women enjoy many of the mens styles and clothing out there, yet if a man tries to express the same interest, he gets shot down. Yes, maybe I’m one of the few men out there that think it’s silly that men don’t have more choices in what we wear. Go ahead, I dare you to look in a clothing catalog and tell me how many more pages of ladies wear there is compared to menswear. Since when do I have to be restricted to what is offered to men? Don’t I not have a choice in what I want to wear? Maybe a designer one day will come out with a manly skirt, what’s going to happen then? Many men already enjoy having long hair and earrings, it’s no big deal anymore.

Maybe I should have gone the route my mom told me to go to avoid all this, and that would be to pretend that I was female buy using a wig, makeup and fake “boobs” And hiding that I was a man. I do not feel this way about what I wear, I am a guy, if you want to say that guys should only wear guys clothing, that’s fine. Girls don’t become guys for wearing t-shirts and pants, I’m working to make that true for many others out there like me who like the choices clothing, want to stay a guy, but don’t want to be mislabeled

No, I do not claim to be an expert in women’s clothing, it’s much more complex then what us men get to wear. After all, many items from the mens wardrobe have disappeared, such as leggings, dresses, heels, and wigs to name a few. But I was tying to make a simple point in how a piece of clothing changes meaning by the label it is given.

I try not belittle people either, I let ones actions speak for them, not there clothing, hair color, skin color, if their fat or skinny, if they have long legs, short legs, missing an arm or a leg, stutter, crossed eyes or what not. I DON’T CARE! You know how many ladies I’ve talked to on-line that were afraid I wouldn’t talk to them anymore after they sent me there picture and they were overweight? I got to know these people for who they were, their views, and opinions, physical traits did not matter not matter to me! Expressing my opinion can be taken as belittling however, how else is my differing opinion going to be taken from someone else’s? And in fact you could even call me a bigot for it too because I’m sure I fit into that also!

Three of the moms skate with me at times when I’m out there, and I talk to numerous others, both men and women, they talk to me just as they would any other human being. They have the wisdom and attitude to look past the outside and not make it a reason to avoid talking to someone.

I will not argue with you on the point of the robe, as I’m sure it carries a religious context for some, rather then a bathrobe or dressing gown. However, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a anyone in church wearing a robe.

Yes, opinion seeking I was, drama was just a side effect, after all, did anyone think such a taboo topic to some would not stir up all these replies? Why else did you think I tried to distance myself from it? All this is my fault for replying to a message in first person point of view rather then a third person if I had wanted to keep up the deceit. I should have either kept it in a third persons point of view or started a new thread, that was my mistake, and I accept that, I am human. If you can forgive, please accept my apologies, if not, I’m sorry, I hope others do not do the same to you as I have done. I have learned from this, and will do my best not to repeat it.

For future reference, I will no longer call what I am wearing a skating dress, rather it is a leotard with an attached kilt.

Steven AKA Steven

by Steven Arness | Feb 8, 2003 | Thoughts

Letter I wrote to a crossdressing/transgender group I belonged to.

ME
By Steven AKA Steven

Ahh, lets see, where to start? Where else but in the beginning! (Yeah right, I can’t remember what I ate the day before let alone 20 years ago!)

A long time ago me and my brother played dress up, with of course the usual items you find in your parents attic of old clothes. One of the things that peeked my interest was a body briefer, a rather interesting garment in itself, it had an interesting look and feel to it. Later on I picked up some leotards from K-mart, the old cotton jazzercise kind, these also were interesting for a while.

While on vacation in Canada I happened upon a Sears catalog, while going through it looking at the bodysuits I came across an ice skating dress, a simple scoop neck long sleeve leotard with a single circle skirt, and came in either red or blue. I had a chance to go to the store, but they didn’t have a large in stock, so I had to order it. My mom’s sister worked at the order desk, and I ordered it and said it was for my girlfriend. Unfortunately, it was on backorder, and would have to be shipped to me at home.

Eventually my dad found out about my alternative clothing, and proceeded to clean house of anything female he could find that wasn’t in their bedroom. Fortunately he never found some of my clothing, but I received the whole spiel of dragging the family name through the mud and who knows what else, I forget luckily. My mom must have said something or what not, as she started washing my outfits and would proceed to fold them on the couch in front of him. One day I’ll have to sit down with her and ask what she said.

I continued my quest for skirted leotards, I think my second one was a kelly green pep dress from Taffy’s, they used to make some excellent outfits. It was a mock turtle neck blouse sleeve style outfit, and one of my first V inset skirts. And my third one was a baby blue mock turtleneck dress, also with an inset V from Unicorn Sport, who unfortunately is no longer around. After that, it gets a bit blurry, I recall a couple mock turtleneck fitted sleeve dresses, of which I didn’t wear at night as they would leave a seam mark down my arm!

After I moved out, I really didn’t do much, not sure why, was just busy with doing other things in my life I guess. Eventually I started getting back into it, and like now, I take it on as a second passion. I currently have over one-hundred skate dresses, and another forty or so leotards, with other skirted type leotards in there like majorette, long dance dresses, and the like. Currently I’m gaining about twenty dresses a year, and most are now custom made, as most off the rack dresses are too short in the torso for me.

From what I remember, it was the look and feel of the clothing at the time, it was not a sexual thing, I didn’t get a “woodie” from wearing it. I also didn’t consider myself female either, it was just a different style of clothing.

Now to the present,

Well, lets see, I’m a guy who likes skirts and dresses, but I don’t care to pass, or go through all the things I would need to do to pass as a female just because I’m wearing an article of clothing that is considered “for females only” To go through all that for me would be a lie, lying is something that I just can’t do with reckless abandon, and just tears me up. I also don’t see any reason that I should look female if I want to wear a skirt or dress.

As someone recently reminded me, sex is between the legs, and that gender is between the ears, Although not DNA tested, what’s between my legs says I’m male, as for between my ears, that’s a good question. If you go with what society would say I am, it would be female, I don’t express many of the typical male traits. I’m not much into sports, I don’t chase women, I don’t make vulgar comments about how someone looks, and I try not to inflict myself onto others. Among however many other typical male traits are out there, I really don’t fit into many of those. Yet since I look male, that is wow I am perceived and treated.

As for female traits, I don’t know, what I would really ask is, other then someone’s sex, what makes one person male, and another female? Does a female who holds the door open for someone a male? Is a man who sews a female? Or is a women with short hair more macho then a man with long hair? I could go on and on with examples, but other then ones sex, what is the difference between a male and female? Why does society say that the manners or clothing that someone exhibits place them in a different gender then there sex?

It’s funny in the learn to skate program I am in, that this one guy won’t do some moves because they are too “feminine” He doesn’t do such things since his dad always told him to “be a man” which is interesting in that he is in a figure skating class, a sport which is dominated by female athletes. So what is it for one person to be a man, and another to be a non-man? (Since I can’t recall hearing the phrase, “be a women”)

Currently I’m stuck in the middle, Crossdressing groups have a problem with the attention I draw, and society doesn’t think it’s right for a man to wear skirts. Clubs can be most annoying for me, as they all want to do a make over on me to make me “fit” in. I have yet to find a female who crossdresses by wearing pants and flattens there chest and sticks a sock down the front. And why is it if a man is wearing a dress, that he is crossdressing, but a women who is wearing
pants is not? And why is a man who is wearing a dress labeled gay by some people, yet a female who wears pants are not labeled lesbians?

I don’t see any reason to change who I am relative to what I’m wearing, I will hold the door for anyone, boy/girl, man/women, CD/TV/TG/TS, black/white, or a purple and green polka dotted alien, or just about anything else that’s going through the door. I try to be considerate of others and not impose myself or opinions onto them. Unfortunately most people have no clue in how to act civilized, or to be considerate of others, and chose instead to impose there opinions and actions onto others. Common sense, courtesy, and manners need to be re-ingrained into some peoples heads.

To look like a female so one will be treated like a lady is hogwash, (sorry all) I am a man, but nothing like what people say men typically are. Not all men are belligerent women hating egotistical sex manic beer guzzling sport watching child molesting rapists. And then there’s the label of “sissy” yeah, ok, so I’m a bit emotional because I laugh at funny stuff, and cry at sad stuff. But why is being a man who shows emotions label me as being a sissy? I also don’t want to pass as a female only to be “hit” upon other pathetic men, or deal with the typical macho behaviors, “Me man, you women, you come with me for sex now” Your gender, clothing, or skin color should have no bearing on the respect that others should have for who you are. (Oh what a debate this will spark) Until someone makes me think otherwise, I try not to assume how I should treat one person compared to another.

Martin Luther King Jr did not tell black people to wear makeup so that they would be accepted into society more readily. Most people do not fully understand who I am, take for example the comment someone made to me when I complained about the lack of places to eat late at night. The comment was to go to this one restaurant as they were open 24hours, and I could even go in a skirt because “those” kind of people frequented that establishment. Also being belittled by some for not wearing a skirt every opportunity I get, just because I can wear a skirt in public does not mean I have to wear a skirt every time I go out.

And I don’t believe all these people who say it takes “balls” or “guts” to wear a skirt, all it really takes is your mind. It’s funny on how some people I know comment and fuss over all the things associated with dressing. Or thinking that some things are sexy and such, like this one person looking for comments from women as to what clothing they wear and what stuff they do with it that gets them “hot” People like that do not understand that being exposed to such things there whole life, they just wear what they wear. There’s nothing to it, and is as common and ordinary as eating and sleeping. Sure, some clothing my be hotter then other clothing, (from both a male and female perspective) but it is still only clothing.

Another misconception I hate is someone saying I have a fetish, a fetish is said to be an erotic attachment to an inanimate object. It also is said that the number of items such a person has also plays a role in it being called a fetish. I’ll start with the numbers first, yes, I have a large number of skating outfits, but I consider it more of a fascination. Being as bored as I am with my typical clothes I guess, I have come across a number of styles that I like, and as such acquire many that I like. As for sexual, no, it has never been a sexual thing for me to wear such clothing, however, I will admit in liking a fair number of outfits that I see. And yes, at times my thoughts tend to wander, but I surprise myself at times of other things that turn me on.

I only find it distressing to come across people who think the only way to wear a skirt or dress is that they have to look female. Do women who wear pants have to drink beer, belch, make vulgar comments, watch football, etc…? How about a women who wears men clothing? Does she have to look like a man to do so? Men used to wear wigs, makeup, tunics, tights, etc… For some reason through the ages, men have lost the ability to wear something other then shirts and pants without being unduly labeled by others.

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’m going to step even higher up on my soapbox, (sound of heels going as fast as they can away can be heard) WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! Come on back, as enough on that.

For those of you that want to present yourselves as female, pass as, be treated as, have manners as, etc, when you consider yourself crossdressing is fine by me. I personally could care less, of course I’m talking about me, and I’m a bit more open then others. Who you are, and how you wish to present and come across to others is entirely up to you, do what you think you need to do to be accepted for what you want to do, but remember that you should be doing it for yourself, not what others think or say who you should be or what you should do.

If I’ve offended anyone, I’m sorry, I hope more to have shed some light and open thoughts into a corner some people may have not seen before. I am who I am, and you are who you are, to each his/her own, however, I am open to comments,

by Steven Arness | Jan 16, 2003 | Thoughts

For all the regulars out there that know me, I am active in all this, with an even more in your face style of my choices.

I’ve had people argue about it both ways with me, one group saying that I’m looking for trouble and hurt with what I’m doing. And the other more interesting group saying, “Your still a guy, so what?” Of course I’m also stuck between the crossdressers who are inflamed that I dress like a women, but refuse to look or act like one. Saying that I am doing a disservice to all genetic and TV, TG, TS, and CD’s out there with my appearance. And on the other end I have to deal with the straights who want no part in dealing with a guy wearing a dress, who is most obviously a guy, no if’s and’s or but’s about it.

Now saying all that, I will say that I have run across some folks who don’t seem to care one bit in what I’m wearing, and talk to me just like any other human being.

So many CD’s wanted me to put on a wig and makeup and at least try to pass as a girl so as not to be subject to ridicule and harassment, but I cannot, such a thing is a masquerade for me. It’s a lie, and not the truth for who I am. Meanwhile these same people who go the whole femme route, (some who do very well IMHO) are petrified at stepping outside there own door. The very same people who tell me to masquerade so that I will draw less attention to myself doing what I do.

This to me makes little or no sense, I will admit 110%, that I was petrified at going skating in my skate dress, it was only just over a year ago that I was actually among others in a club and a CD group that I wore them around others. And now only a couple months since I’ve actually done actual ice skating while wearing one of my many outfits. Even with all the guts and balls people say I have doing this, I was still hesitant when I went last week from my house, to the rink, some shopping, and then back home in one of my outfits, with no chance of putting pants on since I didn’t take them. I also will admit it’s not quite the same as the many of you who are out and about town, my fascination has been with skate and ballgown style dresses for some time. But it has not been until recently that I actually have worn a simple grey pleated skirt in public. My current taste in clothing does not coincide with the current fashion trend, not even my skate stuff is in style anymore.

I wore my ballgown to my clubs Christmas party and was recently informed that I caused too much undue attention to the group. I can understand this, I know what I wore was a bit over the top, and it did attract attention to the people who do not want attention drawn to them. But how can you draw attention when you are behind your doors and blinds? Talk is talk, I can say all I want about anything I want within the confines of my home, but if there’s nobody to hear what I’m saying, does it make a difference? Even talking in the many groups I have I think makes little impact, sure, I will find some people who agree with me, but that’s all, action for some is a much harder thing to follow through with. I skate alone, and while I may put questions in some peoples minds, there are many others out there that never go out and seek the answers.

Steven

Some replies I made in a crossdressing group

by Steven Arness | Mar 10, 2002 | Thoughts

Some replies I made to a corssdressing group I belonged to.

I too have read all this stuff from both sides, it’s most interesting in what one persons experience has been, and have someone else have something completely different.

I little history on myself may be in order then, when I was younger me and my brother played dress up with some old clothes in the attic. I really like the long style dresses then, and I also liked the body briefer. My dad found out, turned around and burned everything female he could find that wasn’t in there bedroom, and accused me of dragging the family name through the mud if people were to find out. As for my mom, she didn’t care, and would fold my non-boyish clothes in front of him, which at the time was mostly leotards.

Through the years I moved on toward skate dresses, and some of the longer skirted outfits, but most of my collection is of the short skirted leotard styles. My first girlfriend stopped sending me notes after I told here the leotard I had been talking to her about that I said was for my sister, was actually for myself. After that I never really go hunting for a new girlfriend, most recently I have put more feelers out there trying to find a lady who will accept me for the clothing I choose to wear. So far I have met two people on-line who find me to be a most interesting and intriguing person. One who would move here in a heartbeat if I told her to come over, and the other who after our first failed get together in person, said she would email me back when she was able to do it again. Silly me thinking that she would actually email me back saying when and where we could try meeting at again.

I don’t know how rough you may have it, but do you know how much spam and other people I have to deal with who think I am gay or bi? It used to be right in my profile that I was only interested in females (which I turned to a vanilla profile to see if I was scaring away potential ladies) yet I still had men coming after me for sex or to play dress up.

Now maybe there is an accepting GG out there, but maybe I am not the type of person she is looking for, for me, dressing in female clothing is just that, clothing. I do not care to pass, hide or use makeup to cover up my “maleness” nor do I use a fem name. So many other people out there are looking for a GG to teach them how to be more ladylike and to do makeup and be girly. I long time saying of mine has been, “To each his/her own” you can do what you like, and I can do what I like, as long as you don’t try to impose your values onto me. I don’t know what kind of GG would accept me, I am most definitely different then most people I know, even a bit different then some of the other people out there who share the same fascination with skating dresses that I do. I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or go kill people, and if you want to call it a fault, which I do, because it has cost me dearly in my years on this earth, is my truthfulness.

I may not be Romeo, but I’m a good learner.

As per usual I have rambled on saying a bunch of stuff, while not really saying everything I wanted to say. Take it for what it’s worth, it’s not often I type such short letters from the depth of my heart.
Over the years I have researched a great number of sources into why I do what I do. I am not the typical cross-dresser, in fact, I may not be a cross-dresser, but more of a clothing or fabric fetishist. I do not have any of the typical cross-dresser traits. A number of these are; I do not try to “pass”, nor do use makeup, wigs, breast forms, or anything else along those lines. Nor do I choose a “fem” name, or consider my gender to be female, even when I’m wearing female clothing. If you take all that into account I have more of a clothing fetish then I do being a cross-dresser. But now if you look into what most people say what a “fetish” is, they will tell you it is sexual in nature, and is often used to enhance and/or stimulate sexual gratification. So with this I moved myself more into the “kink” realm, but still find myself with having a fetish, just not sexual in nature. Of which most people find very perplexing, as here is a “guy”, wearing a skating dress, a very feminine piece of clothing in itself, yet doesn’t get a hard on wearing it, nor does he choose to finish out the look and try to pass as a female. This same “guy” just walks around doing normal everyday things as anyone one would do when there wearing other kinds of “normal” clothing. Of this, I talk of everyday things, I wash clothes, cook dinner, run the sweeper, watch tv, I even fixed the plumbing once, for me it is just as if I was wearing “regular” clothing.

So think of it as you may, I have a hard time fitting into any one “category” and have all the same problems as most anyone in the same “boat” And to answer your question, no, I have not sought professional help, but I have done an extensive search on who, and what I am.Ok I would like to be a little more blunt in who I am.

If you think I am;

A man who judges people on there physical appearance, give me a break.
A man who is a sub looking for a GG to dom me, I’m not.
A man who demeans women with vulgar remarks, ppppppttttt.
A man who is a CD looking for a GG to dress me up, I’m not.
A man who is a slave to do as you command, I wont.
A man looking for companionship, would be nice.
A man looking for another man for sex, way off base.
A man who uses drugs, yuck.
A man who is a CD looking to please you sexually, not yet.
A man who passes out lies as much as truths, phooey on that.
A man looking for a GG to sissify me, ummm, no.
A man that abuses GG’s either physically, or verbally, no way.
A man with a deep passion and never ending thoughts, yes.
A man who is a total slob, untrue.
A man who is sensitive and caring, I think I am.
A man who is a CD looking for a GG to teach me makeup, I’m not.
A man who drinks enough to be sloshed, heck no.
A man who is a CD looking to be pleased by a GG sexually, not yet.
A man who chases females, not.
A man who enjoys wearing non-normal clothing, I do.
A man looking to hop into bed, I have my own, thanks.
A man who can laugh, cry, and giggle, I will.
A man who watches sports no matter what without fail, HAH.
A man who is uncaring, insensitive, and pathetic, fat chance.
A man who drinks, I don’t.
A man who is a CD looking to go out into public and pass, not really.
A man looking for a GG to be submissive to, NEXT!
A man who is truthful and honest, darn right.
A man looking for another man to play dress up, I think not.
A man looking for a GG to enjoy life with, sure, why not.
A man who is mundane and boring, I hope not.
A man who enjoys smoking, cough cough.

I hope this format is a bit easier to understand.starting to get old, would like to find someone out there with the same interests as I have. My last girfriend that I had 16 years ago in high school was turned off by my interest in wearing leotards. Since then I havn’t been really looking for a soulmate. Not a whole lot of females out there interested in guys that wear leos, skating dresses, or other female clothing. I’m not trying to pass as a female, I just like the look and feel of the outfits. Strictly inside the house. As for my other negatives, I’m a bit of a packrat, have stuff everywhere. Don’t clean all that often, lot of stuff I do takes a while to get done. IMO my house is too small, not enough room for everything to have it’s place. I’m more of a horizontal person, rather then stacking stuff all over the place. I can cook, nothing fancy, make a lot of spazgette, easy, and lasts a while. I don’t make a whole lot of money, but I do enjoy what I do, and for me, thats
what counts. I’m also pretty much a hermit, would rather stay home, watch tv, and work on the computer. Positives, well, I’m truthfull for one, wouldn’t have lost my High School girlfriend if I wasn’t. White lies are normal, but flat out lies I am not good at. I’m not to bad at figuring stuff out, and I can be
pretty persistant. I’m still sensitive, I do cry, laugh, and giggle. I think I can be warm and caring, even though I wasn’t brought up that way. I’m pretty spontanous, maybe not instant, but who knows, haven’t done a whole lot like that. Pretty much maintnence free, guess thats why I’m still unatached. I’m also, believe it or not, still a virgin, guess I’m really not normal I’m I? I also have four cats, just in case your alergic. What kind of person I’m I looking for? Well, thats highly subjective, everyone has there own way of defining themsleves. And while labels are not always good, they can help. Well, for one
thing, you shouldn’t be turned off by my wearing skating dresses. I also wouldn’t mind it if you wore them around the house. I also would like someone who is open minded, independant, sensitive, playful, and truthful. Not interested in someone who is basicly hit and run, looking for a long term relation and friendship. Someone who can take me for I am, faults and all. You can view my profile on Yahoo And if I’m online, give me a chat. Well, thought I’d add a little bit in here, gone unchanged for a while. Well, I’m still looking for a GG (Genetic Girl) I’ve had a couple ladies msg me, and we’ve talked. The last one I almost had met with till she couldn’t make it to the resturaunt, since then she hasn’t emailed me back. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. I still do all the skating dress stuff, currently at almost one-hundred outfits, and another forty or so leotards. I’m currently looking for someone to make one of those nice big victorian, or southern belle dresses. Something with a zillion pettti coats, nice full skirt, high neck, and even some puffy sleeves. My coreset is finaly done, can’t wait to get it, just a simple test one, but it will be something to try. Been watching some old movies also, amazing how we have changed over the years. For ladies there was no such thing as pants, amazing all that they did with what they wore. Even more amazing how people treated each other, there was actually such a thing as dignity, and common curtesy. Rare to find that in people nowdays, everyone is so self centered, and really don’t seem care that they inflict themselves onto other people. Hmm, well, I’ve babled enough for now, otherwise this will extend for pages upon pages.