I’ll tell you ho I am, I’m Steven Arness, yeah, that Steven Arness, and spell it right, with a “v” and an “n” and the last name is Arness, A r n e s s, the same bloody name my dad feared I would drag through the mud one day for wearing something other then shirts and trousers.
I perpetuate everyone’s cause and fight and don’t think any ones strive for mens alternative clothing is an better or less then another persons fight. My fight involves getting people to accept me for who I am and what I do, but I also fight for others who wish to wear a kilt or skirt when they are about. I wear what I like because that is what I like to wear, I’m not wearing it to gain any kind of recognition or to incite a confrontation. Nor do I ridicule or demean others in their actions in how they want their choice of attire accepted. They have their way, I have mine, and if you think I’m blindly plodding along the wrong path, then so be it, it is my choice and my path!
I attended the MSM march and wore what I liked, I asked Tom if it would be ok for me to come as I did, it was his event and I respected him and his choice of who could participate. We’ve gone over this many times and have had much heated debates already about MY choice of attire. Tom had no problems in letting me express MY choice of attire. Granted, I generally do not wear my skating outfits outside of the rink, they are “skating” outfits after all, but I have no problem going out and about if needed before or after I skate.
Sure, I thought I may get some attention and I could get MY views of acceptable attire out there, but nobody really cared, even the remarks I made never made it to print, even the ones I made about men wearing kilts! I’ve been doing this for years now and continue to seek out others and create dialogues among others and get the word out. I’ve been doing this for far longer then I’ve been involved in online mailing lists or chat groups.
Unrelated to the MSM March, I did finally get a write up in the paper, and this did make a big hit on others and what they thought of it. I answered back every positive and negative remark, I provided insight and thoughtful discussion, I made a difference. I pushed for women to be able to wear trousers when skating, they now enjoy that option. I made that difference. I skated my MIF test in a skirt, even though men supposedly are not allowed, I made a difference.
I have also tried to push alternative clothing for men on the media, I have hundreds of emails and recipients I have sent information to and nobody has ever sent a response back. But I continually strive to make the plight of a man who wishes to wear something other then trousers and still be a man fact and not fiction. Yet all we continually see on TV is men who want to become women, there’s plenty of shows about this and plenty of talk shows that make a mockery of the whole thing. Heck, there’s even a reality TV show about it now, “He’s a lady” All these shows depict men into being something I don’t think they want. There are plenty of men who are just now accepting that they can stay at home and watch the kids, cook dinner, and clean the house while the wife brings in the money. This was an absolute absurdity just a short time ago.
So why doesn’t the media care about a man wearing a kilt or skirt? Because it’s NO BIG DEAL, the only time it is, is if he’s trying to be a women at the same time, or if he’s drunk. How many men must suffer the wrath of being called child molesters or sexual perverts because they wear a skirt even though no statistics support such accusations? When is the last time you wrote a letter to the media complaining about the way a boy wearing a skirt was treated? I don’t search for such items, fortunately someone else points them out for me, and then I write a letter if needed to support or discredit what was written.
Sure for some men to wear such clothing it is a sexual thing, why shouldn’t it be? They are denied it, so they lust it instead. And almost everyone of course around them tells them that it is wrong, that they should not have such feelings over a piece of clothing. I didn’t know anything about sex when I first started wearing, I tried it, I liked it, I didn’t go too much further after my dad blew his top, but it didn’t stop me. I never thought of the clothing as sexual thing, or that I wanted to be a female, I liked the fit, I liked the style, and I liked the flow, I liked it so I wore it. I didn’t have a sexual lust over it, nor did I think of myself as being girly or wanting to be a female. I deal already with the countless other people, including my mom, who thinks I should just go all the way to keep people from getting all antsy. But that is not me, to do such a thing would be a lie, and one thing I cannot stand is lying, that is why I am who I am, and that is why I do what I do.
Have you ever thought of it as that it is wrong because we make it wrong? Why is it wrong that someone doesn’t stop at a stop light? Why they might injure themselves or others if they do so. Why is it wrong to consider a women wearing pants a deviant? Because a long time ago, Amelia Jenks Bloomer (1818-1894) stood up and fought for the right to wear them, and she even had a permission slip from the mayor saying that the could! Why is it wrong for a male to wear a skirt? Because a long time ago males lost the choice in having that choice. If males had not lost that choice we would not be sitting here arguing about what type of clothing a man should and shouldn’t be allowed to wear. We also wouldn’t be thinking of all the sexual connotation of it because it wouldn’t have any. And most assuredly if a man was skating, he most likely would be wearing a shirt skirt also.
It’s not wrong because it is, it’s wrong because people think it’s wrong. Everyone of us is different, we all have different ideals of what we, and others, should, and shouldn’t be.
I am not only active in trying to gain support for what I want to wear, but also the freedom of what any other man chooses to wear. I put myself in the front line of it every time I choose to, I make it plain and clear of who and what I am, I do it and I am not ashamed of doing it.
Go ahead, tell me what I’m doing and striving for is wrong, it’s not going to help as it will only have me seek my goal that much faster as I’ve only just begun to fight.
Steven J. Arness
GOT EDGE?